Rousing your sleeping husband after he has worked a 12-hour day by screaming, as you are driving down I-95 in torrential rain after approximately six Diet Cokes, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I can’t see the lines on the rooooooooooooooooooad!" is like the opposite of an aphrodisiac. Turns out, the sexual antonym for oysters is imminent death. The More You Know.
In my defense, I panicked. I went into my safe-mode, which is composed entirely of shrieking and making inappropriate references to early 90s hip hop lyrics.
Once we were safely parked in the Denny's lot, I turned to my shaken spouse.
"I'm sorry, " I said. "I had to check myself before I wrecked ourselves."