Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Things Other Than Georgia That Are On My Mind

  • If I created a Tumblr account, I would call it “Anybody Want A Peanut?” and every entry would rhyme.
  • Why are the toilet seats in my office bathroom the color of tobacco-stained molars? Who decided to even offer toilet seats in a hue that approximates concentrated urine?
  • For some reason I have been saving three cardboard toilet paper rolls in my closet for over a month, as if one day I will sit down, travel back in time to 1987, and make a pencil holder for my mother, liberally splashed with glitter and held together with pipe cleaners, that resembles Stonehenge by way of Fraggle Rock. I take this as a sign that I am having some kind of quarter-life third-life (?) crisis-spurred, Hoarders-like compulsion to hold on to my youth. Do not even think about letting me anywhere near a SpinArt machine.

(Oh, FYI that Peppermint Bark tin is filled with sewing stuff. Because, you know, I'm -- um -- so handy like that. But I'm not above Claudia Kishi-levels of candy stashing. Just yesterday I found a packet of Pop Rocks in my mismatched-pajama-bottoms-and-abandoned-sports-bras drawer. Some people hide crack rocks from the po-po; I hide Pop Rocks from myself. Try not be too jealous of my awesome life.)



  1. I love you for bringing up Claudia Kishi and her candy stashing.

  2. I used to love my SpinArt machine! I had forgotten all about that!
    For some reason I find myself occasionally saving cardboard rolls too... for what purpose I haven't figured out yet. I eventually throw them away when I realize that I still haven't found any practical purpose for them... then proceed to feel guilty about it. Its a vicious cycle...

  3. Nice Babysitters reference. :)

  4. Anonymous10:20 AM

    a babysitters club reference... that takes me back. I may join you in your third-life crisis.

  5. So Blogger is losing all of my comments. Hooray!

  6. Maybe you're subconsciously collecting empty toilet paper rolls to curl your hair?


  8. you could make popsicle-stick puppets. i'm thinking omarosa, snooki and marge simpson.

    also, peppermint bark ftw.

  9. Haha YES for the Babysitters Club reference! Yay for Claudia! :)

    I'm with you... I've got 'art stuff' everywhere... and some of the containers are full of some sugary goodness instead of what they say they are...

  10. Ah. Babysitters Club.

    1. There was Kristy Thomas. President. Tomboy. Bossy. Big Thinker. Loves baseball.

    2. There was Claudia Kishi. Vice President. Artist. Funky style. Bad speller. Loves Nancy Drew and candy.

    3. There was Mary Anne Spier. Secretary. Good listener. Shy. Sensitive. Loves Logan Bruno.

    4. There was Stacey McGill. Treasurer. New Yorker. Sophisticated. Diabetic. Loves to dot her i's with hearts.

    5. There was Dawn Schafer. Alternate Officer. California babe. Tree hugger. Vegetarian. Loves ghost stories.

    Remember the trips they used to take? Called Super Specials?
    Get ready for an alternate universe moment...

    Sex and the City Super Special #50
    An older, wiser, and more sexed-up version of Baby-Sitter's Club.

    Where the girls have traded their Kid Kits for Bourke bags.
    Their converse hi-tops for Manolo Blahniks.
    And their private phone line for a private jet to Abu Dhabi.

    1. Where Kristy Thomas = Miranda Hobbes. Lawyer. Type A. Cynical. Loves to pretend to be a lesbian while playing on her company's baseball team.

    2. Where Claudia Kishe = Carrie Bradshaw. Creative writer. Funky outfits. Bad spelling saved by her Mac PowerBook. Loves wearing candy necklaces.

    3. Where Mary Anne Spier = Charlotte York. Mother. Traditional romantic. Blue-blooded. Loves Harry Goldenblatt.

    4. Where Stacey McGill = Samantha Jones. Public Relations. Confident. Glamorous. Loves to, well, you know.

  11. ...tumbler is the problem of this blogging generation. i hope you don't make one.

  12. Anonymous3:42 PM

    Claudia Kishi would never hide her sewing stuff in a peppermint bark box. She would hide her peppermint bark in a sewing stuff box. With a Nancy Drew underneath for good measure.

  13. Claudia Kishi! It is for this reason (and the reminder of Christopher Pike books a few weeks ago) that I love your blog!

  14. I'd read your tumblr thingy- but only to be the rhyme police. I have a rhyme dictionary if you need one.
    I love Princess Bride.

    and maybe you plan to buy a guinea pig. The piggies love to eat toilet paper rolls. It helps their teeth.
    Or maybe you plan to make "crackers" with the rolls. google it. It's not a food.

    my word verification is balys- like the gym- are you calling me fat?

  15. I laughed out loud at the end! I missed the Babysitter's Club reference...I was more of a Nancy Drew, Trixie Belden, Sweet Valley High girl...The Pop Rocks business is fan.tas.tic no matter what the literary references of the entire blog may be.

  16. Anonymous10:15 PM

    Am I the only one that thinks Claudia grew up to be Angela Montenegro from Bones? Cuz she did say that she changed her name on her 18th birthday!

  17. I had a quarter-life/ third-life convo with my fiance who is turning 24 tomorrow literally two minutes ago. I asked him if he was going to have a quarter-life crisis, and then pointed out that if he lived to life expectancy it would be more like a third-life crisis. Isn't he so lucky to have me?

  18. Well, since I'm heading to Atlanta in the morning, to see my daughter, her hubs and three absolutely gorgeous nanababies, I got nothing BUT Georgia on my mind.

    Okay, but you had a nice list.

  19. Anonymous2:21 AM

    You're amazing.

    This is coming from the owner of an expired-yet-still-official membership card to the Babysitter's Club Fan Club. So it's legit.

  20. Like the list. But commenting bc u have up a pic from my all time fav movie--The Princess Bride! And GA's def on my mind...since I'm there now. lol.


  21. Here's a thought... maybe the toilet seats were once white and have become stained after years and years of ass and fluorescent lighting.

  22. Dang it.
    You find something funny to report about the most common things. Thanks for the lift.

  23. I wanted to be Claudia... I was unfortunately a Karen (Kristi's lil step sister).

  24. aw man - you mentioned Fezzik AND Claudia Kishi all in the same post. I officially love you!


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