Sunday, July 4, 2010

Scenes From a Marriage: Superlative Spousal Sparring

When fishing for compliments goes awry... a cautionary tale.

Scene: The day of America's birth. After a lunch of red meat, beer, and Rice Krispies treats, Jeff and I alight to the sofa for a nap.

Hmmm, wait, I don't think Jeff and I were alive in 1776. Plus I don't think Rice Krispies treats had been invented yet.

Scene: The anniversary of America's birth. Etc.

That's better. 

Anyway, here's what happened:

Me: [Stroking my beloved's hair] I'm a good wife, right?
Jeff: Mmmmmmm.
Me: I'm the best wife.
Jeff: Yes, by default.
Me: I bet even if you had a lot of wives I would be the best.
Jeff: You'd be my bottom bitch.
Me: Right now I'm totally your favorite wife, though.
Jeff: But since I only have one, you're also my least favorite.

Touché, Jeffrey.

Lesson learned: Give a woman a compliment, feed her for a day. Teach a woman to fish for compliments, feed her for life.


  1. Ah the silliness that is wedded bliss. I don't think my marriage would survive without humor and more than the occasional jab at each others egos. Happy Independence Day.

  2. HA - Ha hahahaha! Nice.
    Good sparring leads to good lessons.

  3. Too funny! I love your 'scenes from a marriage'. Upon reading this one I actually called my husband at work to read it to him...this was very relevant to us.

  4. Blimey, I bet that kept your feet on the ground!

  5. Nothing says love like bottom bitch.

  6. I had a good laugh and I learned a new term! thanks for linking that to urban dictionary just for me

  7. I dream of someday being someone's bottom bitch.

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Anonymous10:38 AM

    My husband always tells me that I'm his favorite wife....but he was married before, and she was just a plain 'ol bitch!


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