Thursday, July 1, 2010

Paging Sterling, Draper, Cooper & Pryce

So I was reading People, catching up on the Bachelor implosion (which is getting ug-lay, with allegations of fame-whoredom and crotch-sniffing, and which proves that a tabloid war is basically just as successful--if not moreso--for the show as a couple actually getting married), when I came across this ad for toilet paper (kind of redundant, since People serves the same purpose, but whatever) :


For some reason this cracked me up. Couldn't the marketing team have gone with something less violent, like sandpaper? I mean, the literal message of this ad is "Somewhere in between a cloud and barbed wire, there is Angel Soft." I think I'll stick with Charmin.

In related news, sister Zoe sent me an email yesterday:
"I find this commercial offensive. How stupid do they think women are?
Ummmm... it's a rope? No jackass, it is a RHINOCEROS."

Also, this ad is for birth control, FYI. Maybe they should have gone with women fingering an actual pill. "Is it... ecstasy? ...An anal suppository? ... One of A-Rod's testicles?"

Obviously I've missed my calling.
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23 comments :

  1. I would love to see what would really happen if they blindfolded a bunch of models and put them in a room with a rhino. "Holy crap, It's alive!" Maybe that could be a reality show... this week blind models and...

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  2. Oh my God I always crack up on that last commercial... Poor animal. That animal must be thinking "these stupid b*tches". They shouldn't be procreating anyway if they can't figure it out. :)

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  3. I don't care what the product was, if a commercial alluded to a pill being A-Rod's testicle, I'd likely buy it out of sheer hilarity. No homo.

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  4. I thought the exact same thing about the commercial with the rhino! Do these women not feel the animal moving and breathing? Yet every object they picked was inanimate. I really hope that these women do not have children...although this being a commercial for birth control they may also be so stupid as to not take it correctly. They therefore may have 5 children running around. On the bright side they probably think they are surrounded by 5 moving brushes :-/

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  5. It's breathing, twitching and smells like a wild beast and you guess a brush? The set up from your sister kept me laughing through the whoel commercial. But now I couldn't tell you to save my life what the actual product was aside from birth control.

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  6. my cheeks are still clenching at the thought of barbed wire tp. ouch.

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  7. I couldn't agree with your sister more about that damn commercial. However, I went a different angle..."Gee thanks for totally blindfolding me and sticking me in a room to essentially FEEL UP A F***ING RHINO! What the hell?!?"

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  8. Thank you! I thought that commercial was the most ridiculous thing I have seen in a while. And birth control? That took me by complete surprise. I was expecting it to be a lotion commercial.

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  9. That's ridiculous. I'm wondering if the actresses in the commercial said, "Uh, you want me to do what with a Rhino? . . . And that relates to birth control how?"

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  10. I concur with the sentiment that anyone who can't figure out that it's a FREAKING RHINO (or at least a living animal) instead of the other ridiculous guesses of inanimate objects should most definitely not procreate. Also, I wouldn't want any tp that could be the cause of anal bleeding. Charmin sounds like a win.

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  11. You always make me laugh...thank you as it was well needed today!

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  12. That poor rhino. Clearly minding his own business until he was put in this room with what appear to be cognitively delayed women left to feel him up and make assinine comments. Birth control is tricky business...what's it for again? to clear up my acne? Regulate my 'ladies' days'? Or is it a multivitamin? Gosh, I'm so confused. I wish I had a rhino. Then I could figure this out. Sigh.

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  13. Isn't that commercial meant to be like Three Blind Men and an Elephant?

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  14. I didn't get the rhino commercial either. I said to my husband, "What does this even mean?"... and he said, "Hmmm, since it's for birth control, maybe the horn of the rhino is a phallic symbol??"... Men...

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  15. Cathy1:53 PM

    Hahaha. The rhino commercial is an ill-conceived reference to an ancient parable about the differences between religions. In the parable, four blind men are brought to an elephant and they all think it is something different (snake, rope, tree, wall). This is supposed to show how all the religions see the same thing (God) from different perspectives.

    The real gall of this commercial is that it compares the pill to the sum of all world religions. Really now.

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  16. Wow! That has to be the most ridiculous commercial I've seen in a long time! I can't decide what is more stupid, the women in the commercial or the moron executives at Bayer for allowing this ad to represent their company.

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  17. I would buy whatever you were marketing. You crack me up!!

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  18. I keep hoping that one of the women will sneeze and be all, "holy shit, the only thing I'm allergic to in the whole world is rhinos!" and run screaming out of the room....but I'm pretty sure that's only funny to me.

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  19. When the woman grabbed the rhino's tail you KNOW it should have kicked her in the face. That commercial would have rocked if the rhino went crazy and trampled them all to death, and then the tagline said, "No one got pregnant in this room, because they're dead. Thanks Bayer."

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  20. Effing hilarious. I loved Butternut Squash's suggestion for a reality tv show with models, and I also loved Theresa's comment.

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  21. Maybe the lack of common sense is one of the side effects of the birth control...I'm not taking any chances.

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  22. Jenna1:00 AM

    They play that commercial on hulu ALL THE TIME. It's a minutes worth of woman playing touchy-feely with this huge animal. I want SNL to spoof it--especially the girl playing around with the tail. NOTHING good would come of that in real life.....

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  23. You are obviously unaware of the Sufi Tale of The Three Blind Men and the Elephant, the point of which is that you must view a problem from a remote point of view in order to see the solution, or perhaps it's that elephants really stink up close.

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