Thursday, July 8, 2010

Gentlemen Prefer Brondes?

Hey, In Touch:

(Next week: Once you go "brack," you never go back!)

Last time I checked, it was called "light brown." Stop trying to make "bronde" happen. You sound like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's

Also in hair news, my friend Kerry sent me a link to an article about how mullets are now outlawed in Iran. 

"You see, we like to keep our parties in the front, and business in the back..."

In the photo above, this dude is actually showing off the hairstyles that are currently allowed in the country, such as the "Looking good, Mr. Kotter" (1), the "Totally Hair Ken" (or "Blagojevich Lite") (2),  the "Dylan McKay in a Wind Tunnel" (3), the "Fat Kid From The Sopranos With Inexplicable Pompadour in Profile" (4), the "Hipster Milhouse" (5), and the "Corporate Eddie Munster" (6).

Oh, Iran. You don't have to go to so much trouble just to keep me, Jeff, and Kate Gosselin out.



  1. "Bronde" reminds me of when Gretchen Weiners (ah hahahaha!) tried to make "Fetch" happen on "Mean Girls"...good stuff!

  2. LOL!!! god your halarious! just made a very heavy morning a little lighter.. im talkin emotions not flow.

  3. Sarah9:35 AM

    I Iranians prefer brondes?

  4. Call me old-fashioned, but weren't they simply called "golden highlights" once upon a time?

  5. Mullets should be outlawed EVERYWHERE! Not just in Iran.

  6. +5 for your Breakfast at Tiffany's reference.

    I feel like you totally get me with your humor.

  7. Love that you're able to link In Touch to draconian restrictions in Iran!

    I wonder if "bronde" is such a hot color because of the economy? Maybe people can't afford all those blond highlights, so colorists stop after just a few. And the celebrities who can still afford it are displaying restraint--and the fact that they're "just like us." Once we're out of the recession, will everyone go back to blond?

  8. ROTFLMAO- no seriously, I dropped my laptop and everything. I think it was the picture of the guy with the back of his head shaved that did me in.

    I seriously don't think that the entire country can be unattractive- but those mugshots made me believe it might be true.

  9. Yikes. I didn't know it but I guess my hair is bronde...but now I'm dying to go brack.

  10. Sassy, thank you for clarifying exactly why Iran is the mess that it currently is. While it is pretty much agreed that the world in general dislikes the ugly and ridiculous mullet, charts and trainers to discuss banned hairdos, seriously? I'm so glad Iran has its priorities straight! Have a great day!

  11. If people are going to continue to "invent" words, I wish they would be a little more adventurous.

  12. is it just me, or does JLo look a little stoned... maybe huffing the fumes from her "bronde" dye job?

  13. @Katie: I know. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Sigh. Such a good movie, but I can't watch it anymore because it makes me sad about Lohan. It's like watching 9 1/2 Weeks and looking at Mickey Rourke's old face...

    @Constar: Too bad -- if I could control menstruation I could really fuck some shit up.

    @Sarah: Judging from that poster, probably not.

    @Jersey Diva Mom: Yes, but apparently that is too long, and not stupid-sounding enough.

    @Annah: Oh, but there have been some truly epic ones (AGASSI!!!):

    @jmplatz: Thanks! Incidentally, while I was looking for photos of Mickey Rooney in racist "yellowface," I was somehow led to a naked photo of Yul Brynner. I don't know what I did to deserve that gift.

    @kmw: I know, I missed my thesis calling, huh? :) And I very much hope the word "bronde" dies a sudden death.

    @K: Oh no, I made you drop your laptop? Don't sue me!

    @Brianne: Ha! Bronde joke! I myself have always been brack.

    @theTsaritsa: But the stupidity brings me so much joy! I secretly hope it never ends.

  14. Anonymous11:03 PM

    Hipster Milhouse. Yes times a thousand.

  15. Speaking of hair, did you know that, in a pinch, Astrogllide (personal lubricant) is a fabulous substitute for silicone-based hair products like Frizz Ease. It's okay. No need to thank me. I'm here to help. I wouldn't recommend using Frizz Ease down under. The last thing you need is for your ladybits (Yeah, I stole your word, get over it) to look like Cousin It.

  16. I'm glad you have raised the issue of mullets and Iran. Very glad. Also glad I had the courage to anonymously say it. It is a massive scientific fact that people are freezing to death in Iran every year because the legal haircut standards do not allow adequate neck insulation. How long can this go on I wonder? Cause for invasion? I reckon so...

  17. Seriously, Bronde is not a word not a colour.It's called brown. Perhaps you could say gentleman prefer brunettes with highlights and be more accurate. I've noticed this slippery slope into what is considered blonde or not and I will not stand for it!

    PS- Can't believe Iran did something I actually support.

  18. Anonymous12:18 AM

    I happen to be dating an iranian guy that's extremely attractive and, I have to say it, I'm a natural "bronde" :) He told there hasve been instances where in order to enforce these new hairstyles, the government has actually shorn off long hair using a table edge and sharp rocks


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