Monday, July 19, 2010

Dopey Fashion Poses

Sassy magazine -- the one that got away, the one that no other magazine will ever live up to, the one I might still fantasize about late at night while I try on my velvet choker from 8th grade and listen to the Reality Bites soundtrack (skipping over the truly cringe-worthy Ethan Hawke song, of course) -- had an amazing page in an early 90s issue called "Dopey Fashion Poses," in which an editor made fun of the stupidest model contortions du jour (my favorite: "Garfield on a car window").


But that was, what, 1993? I think we need an update. Some suggestions:

The Third-World Toilet


The Black Tie Trampoline


The Reluctant Flasher


Send me links to others, if you can find them. Making fun of stupid model poses truly never gets old.
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31 comments :

  1. Third world toilet is my favourite.

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  2. So I decided to do a quick search for some poses. I knew Tom Ford's advertisements always make me take a second glance. Yeah, so his work is entirely NSFW, but many of them definitely go beyond dopey in their attempt to be overly erotic. Enjoy a Google Image search if you're daring.

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  3. "I'm Nuthin'" > "Baby I Love Your Way" cover. (but at least that one was the last track on the CD.)

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  4. I don't have a cute title for it, but for some reason, they like to have cover models kinda hitch up their skirt.

    http://cdn.buzznet.com/media/jj1//2010/03/leighton-glamour/leighton-meester-glamour-magazine-april-2010.jpg

    http://cdn.buzznet.com/media/jj1//2010/03/leighton-glamour/amanda-seyfried-glamour-magazine-april-2010.jpg

    But that might just be Glamour...

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  5. http://www.supermodels.nl/ModelPics/ashleysmith/140.jpg
    I Think Be a Chihuahua Stuck Between my Butt Cheecks

    http://www.supermodels.nl/ModelPics/ashleysmith/148.jpg
    I Really Can't Get It Out

    http://www.supermodels.nl/ModelPics/ashleysmith/153.jpg
    I Didn't Quite Make it as a Ballerina

    http://www.supermodels.nl/ModelPics/ashleysmith/156.jpg
    I've Gotta Get That Cavity Checked Out... Ow

    oh, that was fun..

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  6. The See You Next Tuesday: Squatters edition.

    http://www.drownedmadonna.com/public/ELLE_p1-2_Sofia_Boutella_big.jpg


    The High Fashion Lebron James:

    http://www.drownedmadonna.com/public/ELLE_p5_Sofia_Boutella.jpg


    this girl is on a roll.

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  7. Ha! Third world toilet. That's brilliant.

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  8. I recently saw a blog article about models jumping in fashion spreads, like this is a trend now. Really? Why??? I don't get it! The clothes don't look better, and even if they did, nobody ever jumps in real life anyway, so why would I want to see how the clothes look in mid-air?

    The third-world toilet looks really dangerous, especially in those shoes. Fashion magazines are dumb.

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  9. The second Black Tie Trampoline shot looks more like Formal Riverdance to me. But so it goes.

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  10. One of the "trampoline" girls looks like she's an Irish dancer.

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  11. Ok, this may be too graphic of a title, but I think you'll appreciate it

    The "I Got a Tampon Stuck In There..."

    http://th01.deviantart.net/fs24/300W/i/2008/011/9/2/DIANA_MARIN_Super_model_5_by_GABOGRAFICO.jpg

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  12. Anonymous1:45 PM

    "Don't Feed the Models": http://www.realitytvworld.com/images/heads/storyleads/topmodel5_story.jpg

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  13. I think "third world toilet" is the hands-down favorite!

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  14. Models with hats on always strike a pose like they suspect someone is going to run up behind them and steal their headgear. Hmm.

    http://jasonchristopher.com/gallery/1238108729_fashion-model.jpg

    Also, DUCKFACE! It's not a pose, but it's so popular nowadays it's worth a mention.

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  15. psychsarah2:29 PM

    You just made me miss Sassy once again. Sigh. I still have a bunch of issues in my closet. I want to go home and read them right now...

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  16. Learn to do squats with Tyra -- http://cdn.concreteloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/tyrab.jpg

    That tornado can't pull ME away from this tree. -- http://www.poptower.com/images/db/1454/450/500/natasha-galkina.jpg

    I almost fell, but check out the sexy pose I managed while catching myself -- http://www.tvguide.com/images/pgimg/americas-top-model-saleisha10302.jpg

    Sometimes the handicapped stall is more a hassle than it is helpful... -- http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4ynpbjsnPvk/SO36vliUh3I/AAAAAAAAGsE/2iy1r8-lx-8/s400/antm-toilet.jpg

    fashion model prison mugshot -- http://asimpleportrait.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/tuesday_0006.jpg

    I'm not a model, I'm a gymnast...or a flamingo -- http://www.nastialiukin.com/latest/maxazria.jpg

    Peek-a-boo, I see you! -- http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9000000/fierce-pose-tyra-banks-9095908-1024-768.jpg

    Can someone help me untangle myself from these ropes? -- http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/_new/081120-model-mckey-vmed.widec.jpg

    And a little old school but still amusing -- http://threadbared.com/2007/06/12/bizarre-model-poses-a-threadbared-field-guide/

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  17. I always leave the house in a woolly leather jacket, with nothing else on underneath. I am just glad that models are still representing the ordinary person.

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  18. amanda6:22 PM

    i thought that you recreated the poses until i enlarged it :) and i think most models look utterly confused in their poses. i think its called "the stupid face". but a talented model could combine the stupid face with many poses.

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  19. Try ridiculousposes.com, it's an extension of failblog, and is devoted entirely to this subject!

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  20. http://media.photobucket.com/image/vogue%20september%20issue%202007/thefashionbomb/Vogue-Rox.gif

    sardine models

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  21. that's awesome. i miss jane, too. you should start a mag

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  22. I love your brain and all the contents inside it! So funny, witty and amusing. :-) la-la-la!

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  23. Um, oh my God you guys are AMAZING. I will have to do a follow-up blog with your hilarious submissions.

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  24. Work it, worrrrrrrk it! I love the third world toilet. That's hawt.

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  25. http://www.marieclaire.com/cm/marieclaire/images/0809-model-diary-27-large-new.jpg

    The A.C. Slater.

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  26. "Trampoline" poses have been popular forever; I can remember suspended models in 80s-era Vogue. Usually topless or almost topless, for some reason.

    You've made me nostalgic now for my "Singles" soundtrack. I may just have to break down and buy it again (my current copy is scratched from too many beach trips).

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  27. Anonymous2:52 PM

    Personally, I love the mannequins at forever 21, all slumped over with joy at wearing the clothes with their arms hanging limply like orangutans. It's like walking into a Nirvana video.

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  28. I put a few of my faves on my blog.


    http://sarah-anya.blogspot.com/2010/07/alright-una-you-asked-for-it.html

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  29. I'm loving this post! I included it as part of my Friday Five at Kate's Library!

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  30. This is so interesting. It is fun to see different poses from great models. I am going to share this post to my friends. I am sure they will love this post too.

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  31. I love this!!!


    http://www.StyledBySheena.com

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