Friday, July 2, 2010

Billy, Alison, and The Birth of America

First of all, thank you for clarifying that rhino commercial I posted yesterday. Reader Cathy explained it best:
The rhino commercial is an ill-conceived reference to an ancient parable about the differences between religions. In the parable, four blind men are brought to an elephant and they all think it is something different (snake, rope, tree, wall). This is supposed to show how all the religions see the same thing (God) from different perspectives.
The real gall of this commercial is that it compares the pill to the sum of all world religions. Really now.
Right. So if I am ever on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (um, is that show still on?) and I get any religious parable questions, y'all are my Phone-A-Friends, OK?

Secondly, I have off today, since I have to work Monday, so I'm starting my long weekend break now, which means I'm sitting on my couch drinking a latte and trying to decide whether or not watching old episodes of Melrose Place at 10 am is sad or just delightfully retro. And hoping that this question can carry an entire blog post because I'm phoning this one in! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!

P.S. I am almost to the infamous season 1 kiss that, as I have previously documented, made my preteen heart basically explode in an angsty volcano of lust and hope and scrunchies.


Also? Searching for MP clips on YouTube is the. Best. Idea. Ever. Remember when Kimberly blew up the apartment complex and Alison went blind? Or when she got pregnant with Jake's baby??? Man, Alison just could not catch a break -- and that's not even counting the fact that she sounds like she has a permanent sinus infection.

Anyway, happy 4th, guys! May your holiday be filled with red, white, and blue baked goods and fireworks (from a safe distance -- seriously, blindness is no joke, even if Alison used it to her advantage when she pretended to slip in the shower so that Billy would see her naked and fall back in love with her, because Billy's brain is basically one of those potato batteries we all made for the 6th grade science fair.)

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6 comments :

  1. Thanks for the explanation on the Rhino - it seems less stupid and more offensive now. Happy independence day to you too!

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  2. haha love that i've never seen melrose place and this is still funny. happy fourth funny girl

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  3. I recall that the original parable was about an elephant. Blind men felt different parts of the elephant and were asked to describe what kind of animal it was. Each told a different story. The parable wasn't about religious beliefs as much as it was about determining what truth is. Apparently Wikipedia agrees with me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_men_and_an_elephant

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  4. How offensive to use a blatantly religious reference - seems like a poor choice to me.

    Oh and while I'm being literal...the actual outcome of 5 women fondling an actual rhinocerous would be death, 5 times over, with lots of blood and gore.

    Marketing turns our brains to mush.

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  5. Delightfully retro! Watch away, watch away!

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  6. Melrose was the best show ever. Feel free to OD on every old epsiode you can get your hands on (I have the whole thing on DVD)

    Did I just type that out loud?

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