The LaMarche-Zorabedian Playhouse Presents...
Scenes From a Marriage
Sisterhood of the Unraveling Underpants
Scene: Bed (as always; the best scenes from marriages happen there)
Jeff: Ah. I see you're rocking the granny panties. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Me: I'm out of underwear! I'm down to only granny panties.
[Pause. Flash of genius, like Greg Kinnear had with windshield wipers in that movie only way less boring.]
Me: I am running a panty nursing home.
Jeff: [In old lady voice] I was a thong, too, once!
Jeff: [In different old lady voice*] I was Underoos!
*Yes, I realize my husband is having an imaginary conversation between two pairs of my underpants using old lady voices. It is basically the five minutes after the end of Psycho that Alfred Hitchcock never filmed. But it keeps the magic alive.