Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Nerds I Have Loved

I spend way too much time thinking about Jon Cryer.

Before you get all up in my face, like “Gurrrrrl, I have every single episode of Partners taped on VHS—RESPECT!” let me say that I’m not a Kathy Bates-level #1 fan. I’m just slightly unhealthily obsessed with Philip F. “Duckie” Dale from Pretty in Pink.


How far does the obsession go? Well, the URL of this very blog is an homage to one of Duckie’s bon mots in the film. I have an original PIP movie poster—framed. And I may or may not have tried to adopt the parting phrase “I’m off like a dirty shirt” in high school, to spectacular failure.

I once told a friend that Mel from Flight of the Conchords is what my soul would be like if it took human form, but I think that’s selling myself a little short (and a lot mentally unbalanced). My soul is 100% Duckman: quirky, awkward, prone to impromptu dance performances and hairbrush-singing, lovesick, moody, unable to pull off a bolo tie.

And it’s not just Duckie, though he remains now, and will always be, my favorite. The truth is I’m a sucker for pop culture geeks. To wit:

Eugene Morris Jerome, Brighton Beach Memoirs


Turn-ons: Pretending to pitch for the Yankees; spying on next-door neighbor MILFs; fantasizing about first cousins; tense family moments
Turn-offs: Liver; blue balls

Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off


Turn-ons: Obedience; pessimism; the Detroit Red Wings; totaling 1961 Ferrari GTs in a fit of repressed rage
Turn-offs: Cocksure best friends; asshole fathers

Seymour Krelborn, Little Shop of Horrors


Turn-ons: Blondes; blood; Doo-wop
Turn-offs: Skid Row; Sadistic dentists; bossy flesh-eating plants

Dr. Egon Spengler, Ghostbusters


Turn-ons: Parapsychology; spore, molds, and fungus; candy
Turn-offs: Small talk; crossing streams; being stopped from drilling holes in his own head

Then of course there's Brian Krakow, Roman from Party Down, and Data from The Goonies (who I love in a non-sexual way, seeing as I am not a pedophile). And I haven't even started on the ladies. So help me out -- who are your nerd crushes?
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56 comments :

  1. Wyatt & Gary from Weird Science - especially after seeing what Gary grew up into - Johnny Smith? Yeah...

    The Duck Man, though - that's a hard act to follow...

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  2. Can Scully be a nerd? Because I totally have a thing for her and all those power suits....

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  3. Only the computer phd who I married. COuld he be any nerdier? "WOW, maybe THIS weekend I'll have time to build the lego Death Star!" Unhuh.....

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  4. Holy CRAP...Seymore...YES! I thought I was the only one...Really it's a Rick Moranis thing for me. And I, too, adore me a nerd. My favorite is a tie...Gary and Wyatt fro, Weird Science! Mostly Gary, though back in the day I would have totally been a Wyatt girl. There's something about Anthony Michael Hall that I just can't resist. Really, any and every character he portrayed in the 80's was superb for me. LOVE HIM!

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  5. I knew I liked you for a reason! Duckie soul here too!!!

    *sniff sniff* "Do I Offend?"

    (Do I Offend? was the name of my very first blog.)

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  6. Anonymous9:22 AM

    Wow. I've never met another who loves Eugene...that movie (and Radio Days, of course) is a huge part of the reason why I wanted to move to New York. While this reasoning was developed at young age, I still find myself disappointed that boys no longer wear knickers.

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  7. You know I was always upset she picked the other guy instead of Ducky in the movie... He was very very SEXY! :)

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  8. The geeks from Freaks and Geeks - can I choose all of them? Is that okay?

    I love the Neal Schweiber swagger, Bill Haverchuck's ill-at-ease persona, Sam Weir's awkwardness (which you just knew he grew out of the be the biggest lothario of the bunch).

    I want to like the bad boys, really I do, but the nerds have my heart!

    P.S. Word verification "outier" as in "My bellybutton is outier than yours."

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  9. You might like this.
    http://nerdboyfriend.com/

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  10. You expect me to believe there was no nerd crush on Billy, The Blue Power Ranger? Una, I find this highly unlikely!

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  11. AW! I would totally go out with Seymour or Egon!! Seymour first though.

    I am always regaling my husband with how I love a good nerd, but I'm drawing a complete and utter blank. I even looked through my Netflix queue for the last goofy geek I swooned over and NOTHING!

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  12. I love Duckie! I always thought he got the short end of the stick in Pretty In Pink.

    Also, I'm pretty sure that Cameron has ALWAYS been my favorite part of Ferris Beuller's Day Off. Always!

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  13. I have also loved (and met) Dustin Diamond, a.k.a. Screech. I'm fairly certain he was in town selling t-shirts trying to save his house shortly after his failed attempt at porno stardom.

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  14. I also wrote about a nerd crush of mine today - although I think mine is more creepy because I was trying to convince my husband that looking more like him would spice up our sex life....is that strange? (It's Ira Glass, who wouldn't want to do that lovely little man?!)

    I also love me some Zach Braff, and Jeff Goldblum will always have a special place in my nerdy little heart.

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  15. Oh! Duckie and Cameron have ALWAYS been my two favorite characters from all the good John Hughes films back in the day! No one can touch them!

    It seems like there aren't a lot of fun/goofy characters out there today like these guys. I guess Hollywood's not even going to attempt to touch what these two guys have done. I don't think they could surpass the brilliance in these two performances.

    I've always loved the nerdy men for sure! :-)

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  16. @SuperOTM- I had a huge crush on Billy! Go Blue Ranger!

    But my biggest nerd crush.... Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation. *sigh* Cute, and probably the smartest person on the entire ship. Yes please! ;)

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  17. Duckie and Cameron for sure, but I also had a thing for Neil Patrick Harris as Doogie, Kevin and the hippy boyfriend of the older sister from The Wonder Years (Paul was too nerdy for me), and Tucker from Flash Forward (the one about a boy and a girl who were best friends/neighbors, not the lame sci-fi show).

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  18. Looking at your pictures, I reckon that it is the hairdos that determine whether someone is a nerd or not.

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  19. *Swoon* @ Dr. Egon Spengler. You don't even know...

    Quite possibly the hottest thing in a brown jumpsuit and proton pack this side of the mississippi. I'd sure like to cross his streams *wink wink*

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  20. I thought it was just me who lusted after Egon Spengler! I feel so much better now...

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  21. gotta love Duckie. ;)

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  22. True brit stylee I love any and all Dr Who's not only are they nerds but they are quirky time travelling nerds with a TARDIS!

    Wolfgang Muller - River Phoenix's character from Explorers and Data - definately.

    Finally Max from Flight of the Navigator, Yes I realise he was a spaceship but still theres a softspot I can't shift!.

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  23. I love Duckie! ;0)
    I also had an insane crush on the character Michael from Grease 2, the movie in it's self is what is horribly wrong with Hollywood's failed attempts to bank on a good thing...but, I would watch just for the eye candy! ;0)

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  24. I love me some Doogie Howser. Love him. I went to see Neil Patrick Harris in Assassins on Broadway and it was all I could do to keep myself from shreiking "DOOGIE!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!" in the middle of the show.

    My current nerd crush is Artie from Glee. There's just something about a sweater vest and glasses...

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  25. Oooh! For me it's Jim Levenstein from American Pie. Okay, the pie boing scene in AP 1 is somewhat, oh what can I say, offputting. But the wedding dance scene in American Wedding made me swoon.

    Does this make me a cougar? Ugh, I never wanted to be a cougar.

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  26. Bill Nye the Science Guy :) He was such a geek, but I loved how smart and funny he was. And that white lab coat.... ;)

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  27. I have always had a little thing for Dr. Spock, in both the original Leonard Nimoy flavor and the new movie flavor, whatever that guy's name is (young Spock).

    I was all over Seth from the O.C. Not that I watched the O.C...okay I watched it. Love him.

    Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park. Duckie was of course the better choice in Pretty in Pink.

    And god help me, I kind of think Bill Gates is hot.

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  28. I definitely had a thing for Cameron, and Wesley Crusher, and I seem to be developing massive crushes on Mo Rocca (yeah, NPR nerds!) and Jason Segal. I like 'em tall & gangly.

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  29. I definitely had a thing for Cameron, and Wesley Crusher, and I seem to be developing massive crushes on Mo Rocca (yeah, NPR nerds!) and Jason Segal whose characters often have a slightly nerdy vibe. I like 'em tall & gangly.

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  30. Duckie is the reason I downloaded Otis Redding Greatest Hits. His impromptu dance scene plays over and over in my head when I listen to that song. I love Duckie.
    I loved the nerds in Weird Science and the super nerds in Real Genius.

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  31. so im kinda young and stuff but when i was about 8 my step mom introduced me to Ducky, when i watched pretty in pink for the first time! kay well when ducky ran into that record store and started singing...i was in love!! but then i wikipedia'd him like a year ago because i said in my head..hmm.. where'd ducky go anyway!? ya thats when i found out HES ON TWO AND A HALF MEN!!?? ewww thats HIM! NO NO NO NO NO! its ruined for me now sassy! he's so much better than that!!!!

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  32. I've been saying "I'm off like a dirty shirt" for a really long time apparently. So that's where I got that from!

    My nerd loves - defintely Wyatt from Weird Science. I had such a crush on him. John Cusack played the cutest geek in Sixteen Candles.

    Currently I love Artie on Glee, and that makes me a cougar, which makes me ill.

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  33. I always had a major thing for Jonathan Brandis in Seaquest...God rest his soul. Oh how I loved him!

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  34. Oh Michelle...you're so right! John Cusack as ANYONE...but, for me Lloyd Dobbler holds the John Cusack bookmark in my heart. He slays me.

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  35. I agree with Michelle, Artie from Glee is adorable.

    But my forever and always nerd crush is Dr. Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. Seriously, the guy has 3 doctorates and 2 bachelors degrees while earning a third B.A. Bonus points for him being the most socially awkward profiler.

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  36. I typically like my men to resemble large, strong bears so I can't FULLY relate but I know what you mean.

    Had the major hots for Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park when he took Laura Dern's hand & sensually dropped water on it. Hello, now I need to go change my panties.

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  37. Oh, man, I have been crazy busy today and can't respond individually, but you guys are awesome. Bill Haverchuck! Ira Glass! Dooooogie! YES.

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  38. Karate Kid. I wrote Ralph Macchio (sp?) a fan letter saying, "I never write letters like this ...."

    Don't worry - it wasn't last week or anything.

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  39. I too loved Ducky from a young age. LOL. My most current geek crush would have to be Zack Addy (played by Eric Millegan) on Bones who, unfortunately turned out to be a serial killer's apprentice....but is just so adorable anyway!
    I totally though he was around my age, 24, but I googled him and it turns out he's almost 36!!! I guess geeks age well...

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  40. Sassy,

    YAY! It's so refreshing to realize that I'm not the only one who harbors secret nerd crushes! My current one? Dr. Spencer Reed from Criminal Minds :)

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  41. Aleisha - agreed, I do love John Cusack as anyone! Especially Lloyd Dobler, he's a dream. I will now admit that I first saw him in the movie Class and tape recorded his dialogue (only his!) and would listen to it at night on my walkman. Pathetic and strange.

    Essence B - YES!!! How did I forget Dr. Spencer Reid? There was a thread between my friends on Facebook about how hot Derek Morgan is and I was the only one who said I thought Reid was cuter. They all think I'm weird.

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  42. I don't have a nerd crush, but I did for many years fantasize about Vincent from Beauty and the Beast. Yummy, sexy, hairy hero.

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  43. the red-headed secretary from The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; she gets thrown out of a building AND solves the case.

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  44. EGON AND SEYMOUR are Awesome, I wonder what happen to them though now days. :)

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  45. EGON AND SEYMOUR ARE AWESOME!!, I wonder what happen to them now days though :)

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  46. I know you;re time is seriously llimited, but I can't believe you missed my whole "Summer of Love (for Rick Moranis)" last year. It was...well...interesting. Yep--call me "Nerd Bait."

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  47. The Duck man will live forever in my heart!

    http://veritableally.blogspot.com/

    x

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  48. There are a few nerds that ALWAYS make these lists: Ducky and Egon. Props for the Cameron call though, I've spent years perfecting the water drop mouth noise...

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  49. While I've seen plenty of the breakfast club and pretty in pink, I've never even HEARD of the brighton beach memoirs.

    It seems as though we have a generational gap to overcome. Creepy.

    You should watch chuck. Its like crack for nerd lovers.

    http://loriwalker.blogspot.com

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  50. As far as fictional characters go, I've always had a thing for Egon ;)

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  51. Harold Ramis. Period. Yes, Egon Spengler was an awesome character, but even better was Russell from "Stripes." Even better, he's a writer! And a director! He was even cute as Ben's dad in "Knocked Up"! Sigh...

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  52. The crushes you had were the same for me, Una! And as many others have mentioned, I had a wee crush on Jeff Goldblum, as well as Tom Hanks when he played a guy deranged from playing too much Dungeons & Dragons... anyone remember that movie? Currently, Dr. Spencer Reid (Matthew Gray Gubler) and Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons)... and I'm married to a plastics/chemical engineer, sooo... yeah. I love me some nerds!

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  53. Goose, from Top Gun. He was such a nerd. Excuse me, while I go weep for him.

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  54. I love all of the same nerds as you do. Nerdalicious. Sigh.

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  55. Thank you Steph! Dr Spencer Reid...swoon...and yes, Sheldon Cooper cracks me up every time! But has no one mentioned Dr. Emmet Brown (Christopher Lloyd) from Back to the Future. Sure he's old enough to by Grandfather but still...he was a crazy nerd with crazy hair. Love him!

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  56. Bill Nye the Science Guy!!! Hell yeah, brains are HOTT! Egon woulda been hot had he been real. I know he's like 75 years old, but I totally have a crush on Zahi Hawass...and I know she's a chick, but I have a total girl-crush on Salima Ikram.

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