Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Mapmaker, Mapmaker, Make Me a Map

When I read that the MTA would be revealing a new, improved subway map this month, I got really excited.

I mean, I'm from here, but even I don't know what the hell this is:
Here's a fun game I like to play:

Things The NYC Subway Map Could Be But Isn’t

-A crazy pipe-cleaner orgy
-The circulatory system of one of those inflatable stick figure men you see at car washes
-Tracks left by Rainbow Brite and the Color Kids during a drunken game of pick-up football
-Some asshole’s idea of a joke

Need help? Just use the key. Oh, wait, the key is useless, too. What is that, a miniature saxophone? You are totally screwed.


There's a new map coming:


It doesn't seem to change much, other than putting Staten Island in solitary confinement.

Poor Staten Island. It is like the Eeyore of boroughs.

(We are still totally screwed.)


  1. I was reading this while on a call this morning and totally "laughed out loud" (like, actually). It's so true; that map is a mess.

  2. Sorry, but Staten Island deserves to be in solitary confinement. We moved there after Kid One ($1000 a month for a 2-bedroom right next to the ferry), but after 2 months, Husband was like - what are we doing in this country?

    We moved back to France 4 months later.

  3. Forget the subway map, what about the bus route map!? We visited NYC last year for vacation and it took us forever to figure out how to get from our Jersey rental to the city (we've never used public transit before). Once in the city, we had to figure out the subway, which wasn't as bad as we thought. After looking at the bus route map, we decided to stick with walking and the subway!

  4. Yikes, it could also be some kind of bizarre (and no doubt, man-eating) plant. And to think I used to moan about the London Tube map.

  5. "Mapmaker, Mapmaker, Make Me A Map" + "It's like the Eeyore of boroughs" = me laughing really really hard and confusing everybody in the room.

    What can I say? I like a good Fiddler/Disney reference.

  6. Where do you come up with this stuff? I envy how your mind works.

    Ditto, Miss Welcome. I've never lived in Staten Island, but someone from Staten Island was interviewed on the news last night and after the segment I turned to my husband and asked, "What the f*ck did she just say?"

  7. More importantly, did you get that Seaman off your sweater? :)

  8. if you like the NY subway map, CHECK THIS OUT:


    a friend of mine made it. i'm so proud.

  9. it is me, or is it strange that every time the subway map changes, the land mass moves move than the train lines. I didn't think the fault lines were that volatile in the northeast.


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