When I read that the MTA would be revealing a new, improved subway map this month, I got really excited.
I mean, I'm from here, but even I don't know what the hell this is:
Things The NYC Subway Map Could Be But Isn’t
-A crazy pipe-cleaner orgy
-The circulatory system of one of those inflatable stick figure men you see at car washes
-Tracks left by Rainbow Brite and the Color Kids during a drunken game of pick-up football
-Some asshole’s idea of a joke
Need help? Just use the key. Oh, wait, the key is useless, too. What is that, a miniature saxophone? You are totally screwed.
There's a new map coming:
It doesn't seem to change much, other than putting Staten Island in solitary confinement.
Poor Staten Island. It is like the Eeyore of boroughs.
(We are still totally screwed.)