Wednesday, June 23, 2010

If These Walls Could Tweet

Boudoir69 @ClosetHamper Um, the woman filled a straw bag with dry cleaning six weeks ago and hasn't moved it yet.

ClosetHamper @Boudoir69 Do not even talk to me. There is laundry sediment in here. There are fossilized undies. And, freakishly, a single baby sock. #fml

El_Baño_Sucio @HotInTheKitchen TP running low. They'll be coming for ur napkins soon. Also, not amused by DIY olive oil/sugar exfoliator. Tub now like gritty Slip n' Slide

JustKeepLivinRoom @Boudoir69  Upstairs neighbors playing Rock Band AGAIN. [BAM BAM! BAM BAM!] Say it ain't so a-woah-a-woah.

HotInTheKitchen RT@El_Baño_Sucio Not amused by DIY olive oil/sugar exfoliator. Tub now like gritty Slip n' Slide // LOLZ at least it wasn't honey, that shit is like superglue

ClosetHamper @JustKeepLivinRoom I *wish* I could hear that, dude. All sounds are muffled by a mountain of towels that smell like balls.

JonathanSafranFoyer @ClosetHamper @JustKeepLivinRoom Haha... balls.


  1. He-larious! "Laundry sediment"... fantastic.

    Hmmm... which reminds me, I need to do some laundry. I'm almost out of undies. And my towels smell like butt. And feet. I'm disgusting.

  2. Um, LOLZ. That is all.

  3. Very clever Sassy! Where do you come up with this stuff? Love it!!

  4. I'mg going to go right out and say it. Twitter is the best thing since sliced bread. Hours of entertainment are to be found in the condensed musings of aquaintances who are otherwise boring as a cheese sandwich.

  5. I used to have upstairs neighbors that played Rock Band all the time. It was the worst. Once we had to go upstairs to tell them to turn it down, and they were all "oh yeah, we were just practicing guitar". OH REALLY? Since when does practicing guitar involve stomping around and singing along to Bon Jovi? hahaha

  6. This would have been funnier if I spoke Twitter.

  7. Your closet hamper can tweet and I still don't even have an about behind the times.

  8. Anonymous9:59 AM

    pretty sure I just died laughing.

  9. BILL.I.ANT.

    (word verification was swodown. "Swo down! Ywo gooing too fawwssst!"

  10. clever.
    Now go clean.

  11. @OneBlondeGirl: It's hard to find time to clean with a full time job! We're not disgusting, we're... um, self-empowered?

    @Zachary: I learned the LOLZ from you and Meghan. I feel so young!

    @RantersBox: Got home at midnight after closing the paper and sat comatose with my laptop croaking "Must... blog!" I like making up headlines, and the phrase "If these walls could talk" popped into my brain as I stared around my bedroom looking for inspiration. I thought it might be funny to do a riff on that with Twitter, and went with it. I was so tired I hardly knew what I was doing.

    @Mel: I'm a Twitter convert but what I don't like is that unless you're literally on it constantly you miss a lot. I'm not one of those people who can carry on Twitter conversations... I usually just pop on with a one-liner here and there, like a TV sitcom next door neighbor. I am the Kimmy Gibbler of Twitter.

    @Summer: Haha. I loved Rock Band until the upstairs neighbors got it. They don't have carpets, or kids, which means I hear them practice drumming until 3 or 4 am...

    @TB: I know, I know -- sadly I can't relate to all of you all of the time. Like when I wrote about Lost and heard mostly crickets...

    @Pamela: Thank you!

    @CommonGoddess: It only Tweets because it has nothing else to do but weep for its lonely, smelly existence.

    @Aurora Megan: Was it JonathanSafranFoyer that did it? I was pretty pleased with that one.

    @Allison: Why thank you, darlin!

    @Maybelline: I'm at work, so I can't right now. Also, my house is not that much of a sty; I often exaggerate for comic effect.

  12. that is absolutely hilarious!

  13. I really really heart this post.

  14. Seriously SUCKS to be ClosetHamper. Hahahaha, this was a hilarious post! Especially the end.


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