Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Every Blog Has Its Cher

When I went to Quaker camp as an adolescent (oh yes, yes I did), my counselor used to make us say a "rose" and a "thorn" at bedtime.

We also played Capture the Flag with bandanas. Sometimes I think the secret theme of Camp Onas was "Bret Michaels."


The rose was whatever great thing had happened to you that day, and the thorn was the shittiest. A typical rose for me, at age twelve, might have been "got the flu and stayed overnight at the infirmary, which meant I was excused from Capture the Flag," while a thorn might have been "left boob sprouted today in communal shower; right stubbornly dormant."

I don't do rose and thorns anymore, first and most obviously because that would make me an insufferable person, and second because then I would start humming "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" and would not be able to get it out of my--AAAAGH, IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING.

[Psssssst! Ok, don't be alarmed, but I seriously have no idea where this post is going, you guys. I'm over a month late to jump on the Bret Michaels brain hemorrhage train (which is a terrible idea for a Disneyland ride, in case anyone was thinking about it), so I think this may just be an incoherent rambling loosely inspired by puberty and an 80s power ballad. Bear with me. I'm trying to think of a way out.]

Hey, look! I think I see Cher!


  1. Thank you for making me giggle during a bout of insomnia. I'll take an incoherent ramble from you any day. Now, how will I go to sleep with that damn song in my head...

  2. I'm going to bed now, as nothing can possibly top this!

  3. Have you considered sleep (though, you will still have that song in our head come morning)?

  4. OMG, it may not have had a point, but it made me literally LOL so it doesn't matter. I think I actually snorted while imagining the Bret Michaels brain hemorrhage train. You're right, horrible idea, I think I may have nightmares tonight.


    As soon as you said 'rose and thorn', that song was in my head. xD Bret seems to be recovering famously, so I'm sure he's not worried about being late to jump on the BH train. ;) You rock as always!....

  6. That song is now stuck in my head... as it often is. Almost embarrassing to admit this, but in the glam rock days of yore, I was a hair band fanatic, especially for Poison, and I saw them in concert not once, not twice, but thrice! Yes, really. Seeing Bret get so much press coverage recently has taken me back to the days of spandex and big hair!

  7. If I could sum your post up in one word, it would be: random. Ha.

  8. I once used Poison lyrics on a boyfriend.
    He was down. Felt heavy.
    So I said, "Every night has its dawn."
    You know.
    From the "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" variety.
    And he smiled.
    And thought I was so. So very deep.
    Because he was from the Grunge and Emo generations.
    And so, was daft of my American-Glam-Metal-Usurp.

  9. hahaha i'd ride the bret michaels train

  10. hahaha I'd ride the Bret Michaels train

  11. It's disturbing how often you can make me laugh in such a short post. And now, thanks to you, "Kissed By A Rose" is stuck in MY head.

  12. Well that song will be stuck in my head all day, thanks! One time I really did see Cher though... at Disney World! Maybe she was ahead of the times and looking for the Brain Hemorrhage train! It would fit nicely next to Body Wars at EPCOT.

  13. Every rose has it's thorn, just like every night has it's dawn, just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song (singing)

    Thanks, now it's in my head! lol

    Loved this post. I feel like all of my posts are random to some extent. As I'm typing them out I have to think really hard about what the point is most (if not all) of the time. :)

  14. Mr. Apron and I started One Good Thing for use during lousy days in our existence on this planet. We had to think of one (relatively) good thing that had happened; sort of a "bright side". Sometimes on the really bad days it's a real stretch. Mr. Apron's might be, "I had a great shit" and mine might be, "My bra didn't itch me today."


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