Saturday, May 15, 2010

When People Stop Being Polite and Start Getting Anal Retentive: A Weekend Diary

I started a new job this week.

As a result I was super busy and missed all of my TV shows.

I'm really Type-A, so I made a weekend schedule to make sure that I could fit sufficient ass-to-couch time into my busy social life...

... and immediately upon finishing said schedule I realized that I am basically Tracy Flick with Asperger's, and that I need to stop myself before I start scheduling bathroom breaks (you'll notice, incidentally, that throughout Saturday I will have to wear adult diapers... or my giant swag pads.)

I hope you enjoy. Click to enlarge. Happy weekend, and may yours have more room for error, and less time devoted to reminding yourself to dress AFTER you shower.


  1. I think I love you

  2. i like "drink with grandma." is that iced cold lemonade at 11:30am, or does grandma have a special brew stashed away? >__>

  3. Una. I have a weekly schedule, written down on a pad of paper, of the shows I MUST WATCH, by hell or high water. I obsess over it. Horrible. And I do an even more extensive schedule, like yours, when I miss things. What is WRONG with us?

  4. I have those schedules in my head as well..but somehow the day always turns out differently...

    I record all my shows and I panic when I miss them. But the good thing of recording is...I can watch whenever I want. Otherwise I would never leave to couch.

    Good luck!

  5. Sorry to hear about the job thing. I tried working once and didn't like, so I don't bother anymore.

    Oh, and on the shower thing - if no one is complaining, why bother. There, more free time.

  6. Ah, the chart. I've charted my life a time or two before, and I'm not ashamed to say it usually involved television - there were a couple of years there when I scheduled studying for finals around Buffy and its subsequent discussions. I regret nothing.

    At least you remembered to include time for the important things, like drinking with your grandmother (at 11:30 in the morning? I think I love your grandma).

  7. No. one- slow down, get a grip.

    No. two- Never, never, never send anyone one to "giant swag pads" never ever, now I can't look at my mother.

  8. It's always awesome to be able to do everything without even waking up! Woohoo!

  9. LOVE this!!! Hilarious to have to think of scheduling in bathroom breaks!

  10. @Ms. Yenni: Aw, thanks :)

    @anon amous: It's Saturday, man--mimosas!

    @Annie: We are special, with and without quotations.

    @Juultje: It's 3:32 now and I have not watched ANY TV, preferring to spend my time in the sunshine. I have failed.

    @J.R.: No work and now showering... I like your style.

    @thisamericantourist: Yeah, my grandma is awesome. And there is no shame in scheduling finals around Buffy. It's really only when you start missing things like graduations and funerals that you have to worry.

    @Dr. Vinny: I'm making fun of myself, dude.

    @Richard: Yes, I have skills.

    @Jill: Or get a Stadium Gal!

  11. I discovered your blog about a week ago, and now every time I walk past my laptop I have to sit and read another ten posts before I can happily continue with my day. This is the first time I've actually convinced myself it's not creepy and weird to post a comment and say I think you're hilarious and I really enjoy the blog.

    As far as lists go; I often like to lull myself to sleep at night by mentally compiling a list of Things I Will Do To Begin My Healthy New Life Tomorrow. But then I don't bother to "wake up at 9am to work out" so I figure I've already ruined it and I may as well use this as my last day of drinking wine and eating crap and generally lazing about on the sofa all day.

  12. this was hysterical. i'm a total nutball for lists of this type. totally!

    ... years ago, a work-at-home mom (still am, but then had three kids still at home), i was trying to figure out a more efficient way to schedule in my heavy client base of work, and writing time and other such, so i treated the days as if they really did stretch out, like a ruler. i then planned to create a timeline for each day, and effective timeline!

    so i took each day of the week and grabbed four highlighters and i wrote out from 12am to 1159pm each day what needed to be done. i then highlighted the parenting/running and doing with the kids stuff things in green, work in yellow, writing in pink, household in blue.

    then i began working this insane, "i can do it all" daily timeline of insanity and drove myself right into the ground.

    oh, the kids were happy, the house was clean, work was done and i had made writing time, but i had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN TO WRITE DOWN AND PICK A HIGHLIGHTER COLOR FOR SLEEP!

    :) your to do list and the actualities of what you were actually going to do cracked me up!


  14. While I, too, am considered a Type A personality and continuously fret over getting all of my shows watched before my PVR reaches capacity, I have yet to make an actual schedule in an attempt to reach this goal.

    Therefore, Ms. Curmudgeon, I applaud you.

  15. I always create lists like this in my head, but all that I ever seem to actually keep track of are the shows and the eating...

    And yet I still feel as if I accomplished something of worth.

  16. Anonymous12:05 PM

    Poor Jeff!

    We really are kindered spirits, I love how I now timetable absolutely everything (I'm worse than you, I know you may find that hard to believe). When did I get to the stage that I had to start schedueling fun? I want sponteneity back in my life. Please do something spontenious so that I can carry on living my life vicariously through you.

  17. I don't quite schedule but I do get super upset about my shows. I'm always behind! And then when people start talking about what is happening on them I have to cover my ears like that scene in that baseball movie...that I can't remember the name of. When the guy doesn't want to hear the Red Sox score....

  18. I too schedule time to take a shower. Sometimes I think I make my weekends more stressful than my weekdays. Obviously something to work on!

  19. I usually just stay up and watch all my shows after everyone else in the house is asleep. However after being on vacation for a week I have a backlog of shows that need catching up on. I think I need to take a page from your book and schedule me in some 'ass to couch' time.

  20. I did a schedule like this on my wedding day. For myself and future-husband. It had when he had to get up, shower, do what guys do (literally, that's what it said) for an hour, and when he should show up at the church so I could safely be hidden away from his prying eyes. His ENTIRE family laughed at me. But we were on schedule.

  21. I love making these types of lists. They make me feel like superwoman. What I do is add about 3-5 minutes of cushion time between big activities. Instant pee break!

  22. Another informative blog… Thank you for sharing it… Best of luck for further endeavor too.

  23. The dress after shower tip is one I might adopt.


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