Thursday, May 13, 2010

Radio Raheem and The Theory of Lost

I love Lost.

I love Lost like Brick Tamland loves lamp.

Last week, I actually wept watching it--and I don't even cry at funerals. (I know; I'm a terrible person.)

Jeff has given up on Lost. He always gets addicted to shows with me and we spend hours hanging out in our mutual sweatpants watching entire seasons on Netflix, but then, inevitably, he loses interest.

If Jamie from MythBusters showed up on Hydra Island I bet Jeff would watch. But then Jamie would stick his oft-abused dummy in the shack with the generator and would be all, “Actually, no man can withstand that much electromagnetic radiation. BUSTED.” And I would be like, “Actually, Jamie, no straight man can pull off a beret AND a handlebar mustache. BUSTED!”

(Sorry, I get mad when people question the reality of what Jeff calls “my stories.” When I was in high school I had to ban my mother from watching ER because of her running commentary. While she’s not a doctor, she spends time in hospitals and has an intimate knowledge of childbirth practices, so every time someone delivered a baby in the OR she would get up in arms. Whatever mom, LET GEORGE CLOONEY DO HIS JOB! God.)

Anyway, as anyone who’s been following Lost knows, the final season has been set up as a kind of good versus evil spiritual showdown between two characters I could not care much less about: Jacob (the goody-goody, who looks perpetually stoned, like a middle-aged Jeff Spicoli) and The Man in Black, who is NOT, cruelly, played by Tommy Lee Jones and who is apparently going to destroy the world as we know it. When not in human form, he basically looks like that Icelandic cloud of volcanic ash that’s been fucking up air travel for the past few weeks. When the show ends I guess he’ll go back to following Pig Pen around.

While I know that the ultimate battle between good and evil forms the basis for many pop-culture pairings (I’m speaking, of course, of duos like Garfield and Nermyl, Amanda Woodward and Allison Parker, and Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan and Krystle Carrington), I’m left kind of cold by this story arc. Don’t get me wrong—I’m still totally obsessed. It’s just that if the entire basis of Lost turns out to be Radio Raheem’s monologue from Do The Right Thing, I am going to be pissed.

“Lost,” though, I will grant, is a much better title than “The Story of Right Hand, Left Hand.” (Ahhhh! Which brings us to Mr. Hand, Jeff Spicoli's history teacher nemesis! I love it when my blogs come full circle. Also, judging from yesterday's and today's posts, I think I need to Netflix Fast Times at Ridgemont High.)


  1. Thanks for the idea. I'll be adding Do the Right Thing to my Netflix so I can watch it after LOST ends in two weeks.

    Also, I'm impressed by your pop culture knowledge for even remembering that monologue. Good stuff.

  2. I feel like I'd be more invested in this "Jacob v. Man in Black" showdown if it had been established beyond a backgammon game in season one. I'm pretty certain that the Light and Dark motif was meant to be around since the beginning, but got waylaid in season two. Is it any small coincidence that the quality of the show shot up again when they established a finale date, and they didn't have to fart around with the Tailies, and the Others, and the other Others, and all the other crap that gummed up the works in seasons two and three? I think not, my friend.

  3. So, I totally did not start watching Lost five years ago. I started watching it in January on Netflix. And we caught up pretty quick. But I have to agree - if the whole show turns out to be Good v. Evil, I'm going to be pissed. Really pissed. And this week's episode? Major suckfest. Ugh. If they don't answer all my questions by the time the finale episode is done, I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to someone. Gah!

  4. I used to love Lost but now we just stay together for the kids

    I fell asleep during that episode, even though there was ever so much bludgeoning

    It was very old testament, what with the loose, hand woven-garments and the bashing of heads with rocks

    I'm not sure if Lost is stupid now and that's why I can't stay awake through an entire episode or if I'm just really exhausted by my children

    I would like to find out about the polar bears though...

  5. I, too, watched all 5 seasons online in the fall to be caught up for the final season (all my friends watch, I didn't want to be left alone on Tuesdays) and also fell asleep during this week's episode. I mean, I paused my dvr and finished the episode...but if you're taking a 20 minute nap in the middle of the episode, it's not a good sign.

  6. I thought I was a fan of Lost, but your post totally confused me. I had no idea what you were talking about and then my beautiful bride pointed out that I haven't been watching Lost.

    Turns out I have been watching American Idol. Damn, who knew? I think I need a beer to steady my nerves.

  7. Anonymous7:15 PM

    You know, I don't watch Lost, but the Good/Evil dynamic does bring up a philosophical question I've been pondering lately: Is Annoying Orange ( evil because he is annoying and also every fruit, vegetable, and condiment he encounters gets sliced, pureed, chopped or mixed? Or is he good because he tries to warn them? Or is that try to warn someone when you know it will just freak them out and not change the outcome?

  8. I enjoy Betsy B Honest's comments immensely. I stopped watching Lost about halfway through Season 1 so have no idea what anyone else is talking about but still a good read and Betsy's comment was the icing on the cake!

  9. I loath that show... and I love it. It's so ridiculous, but I'm hooked. My friend and I decided to have a "Dharma" themed party to celebrate the end of the show. *Hurray it's over!* Kind of thing...

    Ha. Let's hope they answer some of these questions. If they don't, I'm going to be one disappointed camper.

    *Dramatic Pause*
    *Lost Logo*

  10. LOST is really irritating me this season. If the whole thing turns into a meditation on "the power of love" or "good vs. evil," I will never watch anything the producers/writers create for television or movies again.

    Fast Times at Ridgemont High, on the other hand, is a thing of great beauty. Do you remember the short-lived (6 episodes?) T.V. show based on the movie/book? Fast Times. It had Jason Hervey (the Wonder Years) as Jeff Spicoli's brother, Curtis.

  11. First off, bonus points for the mention of Brick Tamland. Secondly, I, too, despise when people can't keep their mouths shut about the reality of depictions in television shows. I mean, it's a TV show. If you wanted to watch the REAL shit that goes down in the ER, you'd become an ER nurse or a creepy ER stalker. You wouldn't actually watch ER. You'd probably be more inclined to watch something on the Discovery Health channel, with a fascinating narrator who breaks down the procedures for you. So, as aptly stated before, "LET GEORGE CLOONEY DO HIS JOB!" :)

    My mom used to do that through ER as well. She was an RN who worked in the ER for years. Don't get me wrong, I'm a nursing student, so I know what's real and what's not. But seriously, if I had to sit through one more explanation of how Juliana Margulies wasn't ACTUALLY catheterizing that patient, I was gonna slap a bitch. Thank God she lost interest when Dr. Green died.

  12. YES! I could not have said this better myself! Which is probably why you get paid to write things and I don't. . .

    I will be interested to see what your reaction to the finale is!

  13. Laughed out loud on this always make me smile, but a real laugh here.

    With you on Lost. I still have no more answers to it, and I'm going to be cussing at the TV when it's all over and done and we have no explanation!!

  14. You are too funny with this one.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate


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