Sunday, May 23, 2010

Medical Mysteries Volume 5: Let's Talk About Sex

I was going to make this a TGI...WTF post but got distracted by my sister's amazing analysis of Eeyore's psychiatric profile ("Poor Eeyore. His friends are such dicks." Hahahahaha. And also, true.)

Anyway, I was at my mom's a few weeks ago and for some reason she whipped out my 20 year-old immunization card. I'm about to experience a slight gap in health coverage, so I can only assume she wanted me to have it as sort of a protective talisman. See, God? I got my measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine! And two tine tests! I'm a good person, please don't run me over by a truck just because COBRA is fucking expensive as shit!

Anyway, take a look at this and tell me... what is wrong with this picture?

"This information is needed when your child enters school..."


"... to confuse teachers as to which bathroom Una needs to use."

I'd shrug this off as a clerical error, but let's not forget that my Phi Beta Kappa letters are addressed to Mister, and that I was the only "girl" in my kindergarten class to dress as Peter Pan for Halloween.

Mother, is there something I should know?
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20 comments :

  1. BAAHHAHA. Yeah - it doesn't seem as bad just seeing the one mistake but when you bring up the others... it all adds up to the big mystery of Una. Is she or isn't she?!

    OMYGOD COBRA is such a rape!!!!!! I just recently quit my job and when I saw the COBRA papers with the prices I pretty much shit myself and then decided that I'd rather save the $12,000 that I'd spend in two years of using COBRA and just put that aside in savings and use it for the one doctor visit I may need. F them!!

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  2. I think we just tend to assume that people who work in the medical profession are intelligent solely because they work in the medical profession. But idiots are everywhere. My parents got an amniocentesis done before i was born, and the nurse told my parents that, given my x-chromosome and my y-chromosome, i was a girl.

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  3. Tiny pants12:41 PM

    Its probably because SOME people, who shall remain nameless, decided to give their children gender neutral pixie cuts. I vividly remember being kicked out of a club house in preschool by a girl who said "no boys allowed!".

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  4. Oh boy. When I was in my teens and the booby fairy had not made her delivery yet, I used to get mistaken for a boy all the time. We would go to school uniform shops, be trying on girl's blazers, to be directed politely to the boy's section. Hasn't happened for may years thank goodness. But I've never been comfortable in a dress. Hmmm.

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  5. Way to avoid confrontation, mom.

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  6. The uni-brow might have caused a bit of gender confusion at that young age...

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  7. Well your a good looking girl or a fair looking guy. Well?

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  8. First, COBRA is expensive!! My husband and I dropped over a grand on that shit, and then those bitches didn't even cover him for what he needed. Jackasses.

    Second, this is hilarious. You never cease to make me laugh.

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  9. Ahaha that's great. When I was five, there was a news camera crew on my street because they were supposed to be taping something inside one of the houses, and without our knowledge, they started taping my siblings and me during a snowball fight. We saw it on TV that night, and in reference to me, the newscaster says, "Look at that little boy run!"

    It was disheartening.

    http://pissedoffbecause.blogspot.com

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  10. Don't laugh, but for the longest time, whenever it came time to circle the correct sex, I always, automatically circled 'M' and I have NO idea why.

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  11. oh my holy hell!!! i was CRACKING up!!! so much so, that i had to bring jason over to the computer.... he asks "what did the curmudgeon write now?" he KNOWS it has to do with you when i'm dragging him over to the computer! ;) HILARIOUS!!!!

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  12. that is a little weird to see that

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  13. I think I've seen this on Law and Order:SVU...

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  14. Wow. That's so.... ergh.

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  15. Please tell me WHO can afford COBRA. To be honest, if you can, you probably don't NEED to work. You know, you just wanna for fun.?!

    As for the other...HILARIOUS!

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  16. Wow.

    When my dad was filling out my birth certificate where it said "Race:" he put "Human." Thanks for clearing that up dad in case anyone was wondering :D

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  17. Thanks for the laugh, as usual!

    I once answered a sweet old lady with "I dont know" when asked if I was a boy or a girl. I had a stocking cap on, shoveling snow with my brother and grandpa and couldnt hear the questions she kept asking. So instead of saying "huh?" one more time, I figured "I dont know" was a safe, middle-of-the-road answer.

    I was horrified!

    Im a girl too, by the way....

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  18. Also a little weird that your parents names were never filled in either...are you an adopted trans-gender...AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


    http://www.apackalipsnow.blogspot.com

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  19. My buddy Steve was the first person in our group of friends to get his driver's license, so he naturally paraded it around in front of everyone as though it were a major trophy. About a month later, he showed it to his older sister who was home from college on Christmas vacation. After about 30 seconds, she looked at him in utter confusion and asked, "Ummm... I thought you were my brother?" Mortified, Steve realized for the first time that he had a big ol' F for his gender. I wish I could claim that all of us were in on the joke of not telling him, but none of us had really bothered to read it. You better believe I went over mine with a fine-tooth comb when it arrived in the mail!

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  20. Thank you, once again for making me laugh this week!!! I included this as part of "My Friday Five" over at my blog.

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