Shitty BlackBerry Photo Saturday!

Last night I was decompressing after a long week with a Breaking Bad marathon... just relaxing with some candles, violent deaths and drug crime, you know how it is. Anyway, I was thinking, What can I blog about this weekend? I'm lazy. And the laziest part of my brain, the drunken doormouse at the mad tea party that is my psyche, was all, Why don't you just download all your shitty BlackBerry photos and make a shitty photo essay?

They are so random, I want to present them without commentary at first. At the bottom I'll explain.

1. Obviously this is Bert, my unibrow patron saint, and Ernie, his lesser sidekick. There was a Sesame Street "exhibit" at the Brooklyn Public Library back in February that Jeff and I stumbled upon when Jeff went to take out some nerdy history books. I put "exhibit" in quotations because it was pretty much just these legless Muppet torsos waving from a display case. It was unnerving.

2. Elmo at Fashion Week! I don't know if he was there in some official capacity (like, um, to protest this designer?) or trying to get grown women to tickle him in his special place. All I know is that I have no idea what's going on.

3. Cooter Pie, America's favorite snack cake!

4. A friend who shall remain nameless for her own protection ganked these signs from me... from the United Nations. Yes, in 2010 the UN still uses what looks like the fake wood siding on a minivan to identify its delegates and guests. (I also scored "Indigenous Peoples" and "Eminent Persons.")

5. In celebration of Jeff's 30th birthday, we had mini donuts with freestanding letters stuck in them spelling out HAPPY BIRTHDAY. This donut said HA. I thought it was cute. (I was also kind of drunk.)

6. My favorite thing ever. So my friend Amy's daughter turned six recently, and at her party a little girl arrived in a pink wig. Later, Amy showed me this card:

I bet you fot I diyd my hair pink right? RON! ITS A WIG!

Now my favorite thing is to scream out "RON!" whenever I disagree with someone.

7. I bet you fot this was a mannequin, right? RON! It's April from Season 2 of America's Next Top Model, standing on a pedestal in a Macy's display.

8. A sign at a farm we visited in Massachusetts. I guess this is more hardcore than the sheep signs all over the highway in France. But still not as scary as deer leaping onto the Merritt.

9. Jeff with our son. What, did I never tell you we had a half-Filipino one year-old? Okay, fine, just kidding, we kidnapped a Gerber baby and are basically living out the plot of Raising Arizona. (Okay, fine, he belongs to our friends.)

10. There is no tenth photo. I just wanted to feel accomplished.

Now that this is done, I think I've earned some more TV.

Shitty BlackBerry Photo Saturday!