Saturday, April 24, 2010

Shitty BlackBerry Photo Saturday!

Last night I was decompressing after a long week with a Breaking Bad marathon... just relaxing with some candles, violent deaths and drug crime, you know how it is. Anyway, I was thinking, What can I blog about this weekend? I'm lazy. And the laziest part of my brain, the drunken doormouse at the mad tea party that is my psyche, was all, Why don't you just download all your shitty BlackBerry photos and make a shitty photo essay?

They are so random, I want to present them without commentary at first. At the bottom I'll explain.

1. Obviously this is Bert, my unibrow patron saint, and Ernie, his lesser sidekick. There was a Sesame Street "exhibit" at the Brooklyn Public Library back in February that Jeff and I stumbled upon when Jeff went to take out some nerdy history books. I put "exhibit" in quotations because it was pretty much just these legless Muppet torsos waving from a display case. It was unnerving.

2. Elmo at Fashion Week! I don't know if he was there in some official capacity (like, um, to protest this designer?) or trying to get grown women to tickle him in his special place. All I know is that I have no idea what's going on.

3. Cooter Pie, America's favorite snack cake!

4. A friend who shall remain nameless for her own protection ganked these signs from me... from the United Nations. Yes, in 2010 the UN still uses what looks like the fake wood siding on a minivan to identify its delegates and guests. (I also scored "Indigenous Peoples" and "Eminent Persons.")

5. In celebration of Jeff's 30th birthday, we had mini donuts with freestanding letters stuck in them spelling out HAPPY BIRTHDAY. This donut said HA. I thought it was cute. (I was also kind of drunk.)

6. My favorite thing ever. So my friend Amy's daughter turned six recently, and at her party a little girl arrived in a pink wig. Later, Amy showed me this card:
I bet you fot I diyd my hair pink right? RON! ITS A WIG!
Now my favorite thing is to scream out "RON!" whenever I disagree with someone.

7. I bet you fot this was a mannequin, right? RON! It's April from Season 2 of America's Next Top Model, standing on a pedestal in a Macy's display.

8. A sign at a farm we visited in Massachusetts. I guess this is more hardcore than the sheep signs all over the highway in France. But still not as scary as deer leaping onto the Merritt.

9. Jeff with our son. What, did I never tell you we had a half-Filipino one year-old? Okay, fine, just kidding, we kidnapped a Gerber baby and are basically living out the plot of Raising Arizona. (Okay, fine, he belongs to our friends.)

10. There is no tenth photo. I just wanted to feel accomplished.

Now that this is done, I think I've earned some more TV.


  1. Being an expert farmer while eating cooter pie is my dream!

  2. This is the best photo exhibit ever. I smell coffee table book. Excuse me while I eat a Cooter Pie. RON!
    V-word? Wainett. Follower of Rufus Wainwright?

  3. I am too big to watch Elmo but often I find myself concentrating on it.

  4. The guy in the Elmo suit poses and then asks for a dollar. Or maybe more, at Fashion Week. I have a similar picture of me with Elmo on Fifth Avenue last April. It was so cold and windy I put up the hood of my longish taupe raincoat, and I had my purse across my body in the I'm-not-from-here-and-I-don't-trust-you manner (but really just because it kept falling off my shoulder and was really annoying). The phoeo looks like Elmo should be paying me a dollar for posing as Yoda.

  5. Put simply, that birthday card made my day.

  6. Yeah, so...I read your Project Runway essays on HuffPo for months before subscribing to the blog.

    I am a fool. Thanks for the laugh.


  7. Cooter Pie Inc. needs to fire their proofreader.

  8. "Cooterpie?" lol
    look at the bag...

  9. Anonymous5:24 PM

    That note is just genius. I received such a note from my neighbour's kids explaining that the vomit and dog poo that had shoved through my letter box was actually fake. Bless.

  10. You never know were your going to see Batman and Robin. Good shot.

  11. Is it me, or do Filipinos make the most adorable babies EV-AH? Ok, maybe I'm biased because I have one of my own (my husband is half Filipino), but I stand by that statement.

  12. haha, i am totally shouting RON at someone when they're wrong from now on.
    thanks for having such a kick ass blog. it makes bad days better. <3

  13. You might earn yourself an art exhibit with this photo collection. And I love a good Cooter pie, too. Glad I found you!

  14. Ron...
    You fuckin' slay me.

  15. Love the photo essay!!! Shitty BB pics are great - so very random & your comments on all of them are great fun.

    I think 'RON' will work its way into my vocabulary :)

  16. I really appreciate the high percentage of photos involving Sesame Street characters. Love it.

  17. hi

    you have a proper blog . i'm so happy to see your blog and i'll be happy,too if
    you'll see my blog .

    thanks a lot

  18. Anonymous8:08 AM

    That's one cute baby and I am adopting "Ron". Nobody will understand what I mean, but that is not uncommon.

    I thought I was the only person above the age of five who devoted thought processes to Sesame Street.
    I feel just that little bit more normal now :)

  20. Well if this is your idea of a lazy blog you put most people to shame. Love it!

  21. Hey, Sassy!

    You know that card, your favourite thing ever? It's my fave thing ever too.

    Laughed my ass off reading that, so thanks for posting it. :)

  22. LMAO Cooter pie -- I love it!!! xD Great, great photos, as always! =) I came by to say that I am giving you the Honest Scrap Award! =) Follow this link to read all about it and get the skinny on it. =)


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