Thursday, April 1, 2010

I Pity The Fool

I've always kind of hated April Fool's Day. I mean, if you can come up with a really good prank that's cool, but most people just use it as an excuse to lie.

Like, telling your boyfriend "I'm pregnant," waiting for the look of horror on his face, and then being all, "April Fool's!" is not an April Fool's joke. Calling up a friend and asking him to interview a Ms. Ella Fant at the Bronx Zoo and actually getting him to call... well, that actually happened to my dad, and it only worked because it was the 70s and he was naive (and probably high).

I'm pretty bad at April Fool's jokes. The only good one I ever pulled off was in 2005, when Jeff foolishly gave me his email password (which was, awesomely, 80085... get it? Try typing it into a calculator) to check something for him while he was stranded somewhere computerless. I abused my powers by firing off an email to Jeff's family telling them that he couldn't hide it anymore, that he simply loved the work of Anne Geddes (Jeff, who is a photographerhates Anne Geddes. He hates her even more than he hates Billy Joel. If you show him a baby dressed as a pea pod he might drop-kick it.) That was a pretty sweet moment for me, and one that I have never bested.

Happy April Fool's Day, though!

P.S. I'm really a man.
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32 comments :

  1. I actually had to use the calculator, then look at it for a few seconds.

    I'm aging rapidly, but that's really funny.

    How many men do you suppose are going to change their passwords today???

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  2. I hate today. I hate this month. I'm sure I don't have to explain why, but if you really want an explanation...

    http://oneblondegirl.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-aint-no-fool-and-its-not-my-month.html

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  3. I hate Aprils Fools Day. I am always the victim and I am not a very good sport and then it is just sad for all involved. But your email scam was pretty funny. I had the hubs myspace password (um, back in the day when people used myspace) and edited is profile to basically the opposite of him. So, yeah, us wives are awesome.

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  4. My 24 year old coworker "pranked" her husband by "confessing" an affair this morning.(!!!!) She also eats a single serving of applesauce for lunch every day. Every. Day.

    I loathe her.

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  5. I grew up in a family of pranksters. My mom's brothers and sisters were wicked with the whole April Fools Day thing. Putting my Aunt and Uncle's house for sale while they were on vacation (okay not really, but with a sign and and ad in the local paper for a really cheap price), Easter egg dye tablets in the shower head, and my uncle unscrewing every light bulb in our house ever so slightly so that we had to call an electrician to come all top the list. It got so out of hand that family members avoided each other around the first of April. Needless to say it is now banned in my home!

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  6. I think the root of the April Fools problem is that very few people out there are effective pranksters. But sadly, that still doesn't prevent me from falling for their lame excuses for gags!

    To this day I believe Jeff's photographs are profoundly influenced by the work of Anne Geddes. Now you're saying that was a joke???

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  7. April Fool's Day is a suck day. Either I get pranked and hate it, prank someone else and feel bad, or try to prank people and come across as lame. Regardless I spend the day with my guard up, which earns me nothing but increased cortisol production and more belly fat than Relacore can handle.

    Boo on April Fool's. Especially here in California where we were promised an early summer with 80 degree weather just two days ago and now we are having a storm. April Fool's California!

    http://whatsnextforcoreynicole.blogspot.com

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  8. For things like April Fools pranks, I have a fantastic guilt inducing follow up to any prankers that shall pray upon me...
    http://www.someecards.com/april-fools-day-cards/most-sent-today

    lol

    "I intend to abuse your kind, trusting nature for the sake of my own moderate, shortlived amusement"

    OR

    "Congratulations on effectively deceiving and humiliating me"

    hahaha ahhhh

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  9. Today is my daughter's birthday. Sadly, after her birth I was too exhausted to suggest a prank, because we missed a great one. We could have told everyone in the family that I'd had twins!

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  10. I never remember April Fool's Day, which probably makes me the perfect person to fool, but I guess no one I know ever remembers either.

    Or they enjoy me looking foolish so much that I still believe something from 1995 is true when its really not.

    Hmm.


    P.S. I feel cool for knowing what the numbers meant immediately, but also incredibly nerdy for feeling cool about that.

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  11. Is it my eyesight. I put 80085 into the calculator and it came up 80,085. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

    Clearly I don't get it.

    I'm so ashamed.

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  12. April Liars Day ;)

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  13. That password is classic- I may have to change my network one to match it!

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  14. tweeks3:22 PM

    the reason she suggested to put it into a calculator is because of the 'boxy' nature of numbers on a calculator screen... so, the 8 looks more like a B and the 5 more like an S
    thus, 80085 = BOOBS
    wow, that brings me back to middle school! try typing in 07734 and turning the calculator upside-down. not as funny, but cute nonetheless

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  15. Mrs. L. Don't feel bad. I didn't get it at first either. Put it down, go back, think about how silly boys can be and what they like, and then look at it again. It might take your eyes a minute to adjust but it will pop out at you. Hint: 5 is S. Sassy, it would be funny if you gave us Jeff's personal email address and we all sent him photos of Ann Geddes saying things like, "We know you are a serious photographer, and we came across these photos and thought this might be a great market for you". Unless you think his retinas might get burned. That wouldn't be funny at all.

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  16. HaHaa! Oh, 80085... I remember you well. Funny post.

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  17. i love you and your blog.
    slightly obsessed.
    and no, this is not an april fools joke.

    don't believe me...i sort of professed my love. don't be creeped out. you're just that awesome.

    check it out!!

    http://fortheloveofgold.blogspot.com/2010/03/sassy.html

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  18. Why isn't telling your boyfriend you're pregnant an April Fool's joke?? That expression of horror is what April 1st is all about. You're just supposed to be more elaborate. Like, faking a pregnancy test. Throwing up for no reason. Getting a big silicone implant in your belly and then telling your boyfriend you're dumping him for not noticing you were pregnant. Stuff like that.

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  19. ROTFLMFAO That is the BEST prank I've ever heard of!! xD I should do that to my hubby...he would flip his lid! HAHAHAAAA!!! Also loving the password...try putting 37047734 into the old calculator and turning it upside down...that was my favorite when I was still young enough to think hell was a swear word. LOL Thanks for the awesome belly laugh -- you ROCK, as always! =D

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  20. Around our house we are so full of goofy pranks that April 1st does not appeal....but I have to say telling child #7 on his 8th birthday that the aliens were going to get him was priceless....he wanted to have his party on a day different from the real day so they would be thrown off....HA HA HA

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  21. Is it bad that I think the baby dressed as a pea pod is adorable?

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  22. I just saw a baby dressed as Hitler and would like to retract any positive statements I made about Anne Geddes.

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  23. Poor little Poddington baby..

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  24. I HAVE A WEINER TOO!!!!

    i just hide mine in my husband's pants!!

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  25. @Jude: yeah, my husband's a trailblazer for horny thirteen year-olds. I AM SO PROUD.

    @April: Aw, girl, I feel your pain. Una gets a lot of lame jokes, too. (And no, my sister's name is not Dos.)

    @Erin: We are. Go us.

    @Tocalabocina: Ugh, I hate her too. That is a mean prank. But she is punishing herself enough with the applesauce lunches.

    @Kittyn: Wow, you come from pros. My family is a sensitive bunch so we try not to surprise each other :)

    @Sloan: Jeff IS Anne Geddes. I am a lesbian. The truth comes out.

    @Corey: At least you have your guard up. I am the most gullible person ever. And I never learn.

    @V: Nice! I will have to steal that idea.

    @Jamie: But it is an excellent excuse to prank your daughter every year...

    @Megs: You are cool AND nerdy! Like me and Jeff.

    @Mrs. L: BOOBS. It's okay; it's only immediately visible to people with testes.

    @Richard: Exactly.

    @Yoj: Do it! I promise I won't steal your identity...

    @tweeks: Thanks! Perfect explanation. And HELLO to you too.

    @Chicken's: Such a good idea! Dammit, we'll have to get him next year.

    P.S. You can email him through his website, which is in my link list.

    @Michael: Thanks! BOOBS.

    @Brittany: Yay! I love being obsessed over. I will read ASAP.

    @Melanie: I guess I just feel like telling a simple lie that involves no preparation or execution is a cop-out. But as you so astutely point out, if you follow through on the pregnancy hoax then it falls under the category of "great April Fool's prank" ;)

    @Alison: Oh, I can't wait until I have children...

    @Essence: I don't judge. And I cannot believe Anne Geddes dressed a child as Hitler. Need proof!

    @Sproglet: It probably doesn't care, but I can't get behind dressing a poor defenseless infant up in stupid costumes.

    @Ashley: Wow, so he gets TWO? I bet he feels like a pimp.

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  26. Okay Sassy, I'm blaming your blog for this. I'd already pranked my boyfriend by telling him I'd lost my ID and couldn't get on the plane to NYC tomorrow. (We've been planning this trip since FOREVER) But that seemed lame so I signed onto his Facebook account and let him tell the world that he'd much prefer to be in Vegas at a Manilow concert. I also made him a fan of Mr. Copacabana himself as well Donny Osmond. I feel like such a grown-up now.

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  27. I don't appear to have proof proof, but this showed up when I googled Anne Geddes...

    http://indiequill.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/anne-geddes.jpg

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  28. I love your dry, witty humor! I laughed really hard at your April Fool's prank. That is perfect!

    P.S. I've been creepin' on your blog for awhile. Love it!

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  29. My mom is a huge practical joker, so everyone cringes on April Fool's Day, but one year the joke was on her. She gave birth to my twin brothers on April 1. No one in my family believed my mom when she made the phone calls announcing she was in labor, and not a single person came to visit! She actually had to send out pictures to prove they were twins!
    BTW, Anne Gedes is the Thomas Kincade of portrait photography.

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  30. Lou_Briccant6:32 PM

    80085....classic!

    My password is: MickeyMinnieDonaldDaffyHueyDeweyLouieGoofyBismarck

    Tech service said the password must be eight characters long and contain one capital......

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  31. I love April Fools' day! That's probably because I'm usually the "pranker" rather than the "prankee", if you will.
    Anyone remember the Burger King's left handed whopper April fools' joke in the late 90's? That was hilarious.

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  32. that 80085 thing got me for a moment. must be a sunday!

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