Monday, April 26, 2010

Date Night

On Saturday night, Jeff and I saw Date Night. On a date night.

We are obviously super original.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, except that in the theater with us were a bunch of thirteen year-olds. You know how male peacocks display their iridescent feathers for prospective female mates? Well, thirteen year-old boys are like that, except instead of showing their plumage they talk loud during movies. They yell out single words, like "Breast!" or make loud, excited loogie noised like they are Al Pacino in Scent of A Woman.

I wanted to put them in their place. I mean, A) I wanted to be like, Why are you even seeing this movie? It's for old people like us. Isn't there some Judd Apatow bonerfest you could be watching? Or something with vampires?

And B) Nobody who has ever seen a real boob yells the word "Breast." Be cool, man. Jesus.

Luckily I was kind of drunk from dinner and also totally focused on picking out all of the green Sour Patch Kids, otherwise those young whippersnappers would have gotten a piece of my mind.
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25 comments :

  1. Ah yes, the focus it takes to find the right Sour Patch Kids can be overwhelming. Next time, just pelt them with the ones you don't like!

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  2. I agree. It is way cooler to yell out "Hooters!" in the movie theater. And oddly the word verification image required to post this message reads "logie" down below which reminds me of your loogie sounds comment. Ironic perhaps?

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  3. So true - on everything! Teaching 13 year old boys (and girls) is one of life's mysteries . . . which causes a person like me to slowly, but surely, become "old people."
    This age of boys, they are BIG fans of "The Office." Perhaps they thought Steve Carrell just left the office, and went on a date with his hot/funny wife? They have their dreams. . . and their verbal ticks.

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  4. LOL! Sometimes the boys are worse then the giggly teenage girls.

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  5. Your analogy of peacocks and 13 yr old boys couldn't be more spot on. It's like it all makes sense now... in an annoying way.

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  6. Admittedly, that was definitely at one point in my life, albeit only to impress other 13 year old boys as to how funny and cool and witty I was....

    I still remember shamefully annoying the uber-nerd sitting in front of my friend and I during the third installment of the LOTR trilogy, complete with the teenage douchey cheers for the bad guys and whatnot. If I could, I would go back and apologize to that man for ruining his epic fandom.

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  7. the best shouted pre-movie comment i ever heard from a teenaged moviegoer was, "This movie is called, Men Who Have No Balls!" (it wasn't.)

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  8. our blog is hilarious!! sooo glad I stumbled upon it.

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  9. Oh, to be 13 again and think those peacock-head boys were funny...

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  10. I love that you called them whippersnappers! I made the mistake of seeing Valentines Day in the theater, the 7pm showing. Everytime that Taylor Twilight kid came on screen (or even just his NAME), all the 11-teen year olds screamed.

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  11. I feel that older I've grown, the more I remain the same. I guess, we men still do those dumb things to impress a women :)

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  12. siiigh, but the red sour patch kids are my favorite.

    this is why my fiance and i have opted for the mid day matinees. the chances of spotting gaudy plumage and boys with eyeliner are rare.

    ps- for my word verification, i had to type "skinater" i though it said skineater for a second. that would have been cooler.

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  13. Well ain't that amazin' Gracie...or, whoever. My trophy bride and I had our date night Saturday night watching Date Night. We did it (watched the movie that is) at the local cinebistro with seared ahi tuna salad and a bucket of beer. I don't think I belched, farted, yelled hooters, or did any other manly stuff the whole evening...but I am getting old. Or so I am told.

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  14. At 25 I find myself looking at those young people with a look of disgust and wondering why it was that at 15 I actually wanted to date those guys myself??

    And the thought that my darling adorable 3 year old son will some day turn into one of those loud obnoxious cheeky and highly unfunny peacocks makes me cringe...

    Maybe when he's 15 it will be time for him to go live with his dad :)

    On another note... how was the movie??

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  15. This blog is great.. I am at the point where I can finally realize I am no longer a teenager (im 20) and I can see the world as a whole... I am so glad I am no longer a peacock

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  16. lol, well at least was the movie even good?

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  17. There's the rub...when you get older you go to the movies earlier and you are bound to run into the obnoxious tweeners. Ahhh..remember the old "midnight movies" days.

    Word verification is "unbud" is that defined as the "deflowering of Una"??? Just saying...

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  18. Jess F9:22 PM

    Dude, speaking of movies, you gotta see "Kickass". Arshad and I saw it this weekend, it was AWESOME... Reminiscent of a Tarantino, especially the Kill Bills. Also we saw it at BAM and I think the peacocks are not out in such large numbers there.

    Even though it's about teenagers who think they're superheroes, don't be surprised when it's violent as all get-out... K was away this weekend, so was thinking of seeing it again with her. Want to see it with us?

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  19. Jess F9:22 PM

    Dude, speaking of movies, you gotta see "Kickass". Arshad and I saw it this weekend, it was AWESOME... Reminiscent of a Tarantino, especially the Kill Bills. If you can believe it, the movie was so good I forgot I had candy for more than half of it. Also we saw it at BAM and I think the peacocks are not out in such large numbers there.

    Even though it's about teenagers who think they're superheroes, don't be surprised when it's violent as all get-out... K was away this weekend, so was thinking of seeing it again with her. Want to see it with us?

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  20. man i hate little kids too.

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  21. You're saucy! Enjoy your humor. (=
    Come see me.
    http://jostorm.blogspot.com/

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  22. Completely agree.

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  23. yuupp!! date night is an awesome moviess..
    hahaha

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  24. Other then that did you like the movie, I didnt really have that problem but then again I live in a really small town so. It wasnt the best movie but it did have some funny parts. Try watching new moon, I couldnt even hear anything. Yeah Iam older but hey I read all the books before the movies came out so I just wanted to see how the story played out on screen. Next time I will watch the dvd.

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  25. You think teenage boys are bad, Try sitting in health class during the puberty talk with like seventeen of them. Ah, memories.

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