Sunday, April 4, 2010

Baking For God

Hi, guys! I'm in Massachusetts but I just had to recycle this post from 2006, "Sacrilegious Arts & Crafts: Stale Sara Lee Pound Cake Edition":



[Updated 2010: Here are the directions:

1. Buy frozen Sara Lee pound cake. Serve with whipped cream and strawberries.
2. Approximately 2 weeks later, gingerly lift brick-like remains of cake from aluminum container. Arrange in center of plate.
3. Using whipped cream, make a mound in the center of the cake and two football-shaped ears at the top.
4. Find raisins. There are always raisins somewhere--check your carpets and the bottom of all of your purses. Use smidges of whipped cream to affix raisins above center mound in approximation of eyes.
5. Before you put it away, dispense whipped cream directly into mouth. (Whipped cream never goes bad, plus at least you're not doing something more dangerous, like whippets.)
6. Did you bake a cake in the last three years? Then surely you have some dusty tubes of congealed icing somewhere in the pantry! Drag those suckers out, and use to make nose, eyebrows (optional), mouth and inner ear.
7. Use icing to write tender Easter message to Jesus (alternative idea: "What's up, Doc?")
8. Post on blog; horrify Catholic relatives

Serving instructions: Actually, you probably should not eat this.]


Happy Easter!
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19 comments :

  1. Bahaha, that would so horrify the bible thumpers in my area of the Southeast!

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  2. if "smidge" isn't in the dictionary, it should be.

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  3. Love this! Today is just another day in my house. We had our Ostara baskets and egg hunts on Ostara....Why is it that Christian's still don't get it? hmmmmmmm

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  4. Am i going to hell now that I have read this and laughed...slightly?

    Looks cute as a bunny's tail.

    Do your relatives still have you over for Easter dinner?

    Inquiring minds want to know...well at least I do?

    http://apackalipsnow.blogspot.com

    Technically I don't think this is "baking", right?

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  5. pure awesomeness... thanks for the smile.

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  6. I have risen late this morning and started laughing out loud. I supposed I better go to church or be struck down by a bunny tossing an egg at me.

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  7. Resurrection horror movies, awards, Easter pound cakes, mussels, and a breakdown of the movie "Armageddon."

    I love reading blogs in the morning :)

    Have a Happy Easter Sassy.

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  8. The sugar high that this weekend has put me in has made me oblivious to blasphemy. I keep forgetting this weekend is supposed to be about Christ or whatever, someone get me some more chocolate.

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  9. The sugar high that this weekend has put me in has made me oblivious to blasphemy. I keep forgetting this weekend is supposed to be about Christ or whatever, someone get me some more chocolate.

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  10. Creepy. Even more creepy is that I feel like I had to make something similar to that as a kid in Sunday School. Also, does it bother anyone else how grammatically incorrect the "Word" is? ("He is risen." WTF?)

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  11. Anonymous1:06 PM

    Seriously hysterical! Especially since all my Catholic relatives have "He is risen" as their Facebook status right now!!!!

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  12. That's the best use of stale poundcake I've ever seen. Hope your Catholic relatives have a sense of humor, but you know, this particular holiday kind of begs for a bit of sacrilege.

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  13. Duly horrified, . . . but I'm a Cahtolic making braided challah on this most holy christian day. All's well that comes from the kitchen with love (and humor)! It's all about the bunny today for our five year old. Happy Spring!

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  14. This absolutely cracked me up, and I wasn't following in 2006, so thanks so much for posting!

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  15. Okay, but isn't "He is risen" technically bad grammar?

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  16. I was feeling rather cynical this Easter, but this definitely brought a smile to my face. =)

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  17. That looks absolutely sacrelicious.

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  18. Woah.. this is gorgeous. I once had cookies that I'm pretty sure were made by God. They were at some function slash ritual and they were SO good.. one might have called them "heavenly"... JUST like your cake. Impressive.

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  19. Ditto what littlest.matryoshka said. Sacrelicious is the word!

    Reminds me of the year I took a pic of Jesus on the cross, popped a festive Santa hat on him, made color copies and sent them out as Christmas cards. Holiday crafting can be fun!

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