- A book full of slides taken during a production of a play I starred in junior year of college, not long after I smoked hash in Germany and attempted to bleach my hair and give myself bangs. You will see these in my annual birthday "Go Fug Myself" post.
- A copy of "Kidnapped," aka Book 13 of the Sweet Valley High series by Francince Pascal. This was my favorite SWH story, because Elizabeth got kidnapped by a mentally-ill orderly at the hospital where she worked as a candy striper who made her eat frozen pancakes and called her "George" (and if I remember correctly it was all that whore Jessica's fault since she asked Elizabeth to sign up for candy striping so that Jessica could go on some TV show in an effort to hump some new guy in town, the one with the deaf sister who Jessica later tries to sabotage because of jealously over Bruce Patman). Anyway. It was my favorite because Elizabeth, the decent human being, is the clear victim while Jessica has to look inward and realize what a terrible person she is. (I think we all know that as soon as I finish this blog I'm parking on the couch to revisit this relic.)
- Evidence—and here I finally reach the point I was trying to make with the title of the post—that I do not care for things well. Exhibit A:
I know you're probably thinking, it's just an old book cover. Granted, Otherwise Known as Sheila The Great was a masterpiece, but you can buy it at Barnes and Noble!
OMG YOU GUYS, JUDY BLUME SIGNED A BOOK FOR ME! She's like the adolescent's version of J.D. Salinger! This is like a national treasure and I ruined it!!!!! Now it looks like Judy had cerebral palsy and was weeping while she wrote it. (Maybe she had just re-read Tiger Eyes; that book is fucking sad.)
If future civilizations found this they'd assume it had been fossilized after a flash flood or something, when it was really just a nine year-old not taking care of her books. Kind of makes you wonder about museum artifacts, doesn't it?