Me: (knocking on the door to Jeff's "man cave") Hey, just FYI I'm wearing a moisturizing face mask that makes me look like Hannibal Lecter.
Jeff: Lemme see.
I totally skinned Powder's face off to get past security guards at the asylum.
Jeff: Oh my God, that is creepy.
Me: It's La Mer.
Jeff: La what?
Moments later, I am reading and letting the mask sink in. Jeff rushes past me. I hear what sounds like a zipper being unzipped.
Me: Are you packing a suitcase? Are you leaving me? Is it the mask?
Jeff wordlessly enters the bathroom, and I hear the sound of his beard trimmer.
Me: Are you shaving your head? Are you joining a monastery? I'll take it off.
Jeff emerges, having trimmed shaved off all but his mustache.
Jeff: I'm gay!
Me: Fair enough.
Yeah, I was topless. Which makes it that much sexier.