Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Punky Reviewster: Jewelry Art Designs

Oh yes, I'm inventing yet another multiple blog personality, a la Holly Go Homely. I will christen her Punky Reviewster. You'll understand in a second.
Confession: I am so not a jewelry girl. This isn’t a choice, it’s just my nature. Pajama girl, YES. Doritos girl, YES. Jewelry girl, MEH. It’s not that I don’t like jewelry; I totally do (I famously eschewed the idea of a diamond engagement ring until we went and looked at them. My eyes got as big as saucers and Jeff says that I just stood there and whispered “SPARKLY!” I don’t remember because I was in a wedding K-hole at the time.) And if I had limitless disposable income I would probably buy—along with lifetime subscriptions to various wine and cheese of the month clubs and the entirety of Zappos’ inventory—some nice earrings, so nice that I would be forced to resist the urge to dump them loose into my purse along with gum wrappers and crumpled dollar bills. Right?

Anyway, this intro is just to lay the groundwork for the fact that a reader named Sarah asked me if I would review her jewelry site on the blog. I am eternally grateful to all of you for reading and following and commenting, and I would love to be able to give back in some way to each and every one of you. So of course I said yes. (If you have something similar you want to bring to my attention scroll down to the bottom of this post; there are some ground rules.)

Sarah’s site is called Jewelry Art Designs, and it sells pendants, earrings and rings. Here I’ll further admit that I don’t do necklaces, rings (apart from my wedding/engagement duo) or bracelets; I am strictly an Earrings Whore. I think I just don’t like stuff dangling from any place other than my ears. Thank God I wasn’t born a dude.

The site features 14k white gold and gold jewelry set with cubic zirconia and other gems. The inventory is not huge but it seems to have something for everyone. I, for example, do not like yellow gold with diamonds; it makes me think of old ladies and the TV show Dynasty for some reason (not that both old ladies and Dynasty aren’t awesome, because they totally ARE). Also I am very pale, so warm tones don’t particularly compliment my skin. But I love white gold with diamonds; I think it looks so posh.

For example, I covet these dainty little flower earrings:

And these horseshoes. So cute!

You could wear them sideways and pretend they are ghetto Chanel logo studs.

“I could only afford one C,” you can say. “Do not hate.”

In the interest of not being a total kiss-ass, and also being honest, there are some things that are very much NOT my taste.

America is awesome, just maybe not on a ring?

Or these "Key to my Heart" earrings:

The key to my heart is not ever buying me these. Although, I bet they could double as eyebrow-taming combs and they make me think of strawberries, so they're not all bad.

Anyway, go check out Sarah’s site! It offers SPARKLY at affordable, recession-friendly prices. And if you have a site or product you need pimped by a girl who blogs about pubes, rompers, and being a general nuisance, here are the rules:

In order for me to review a product on my blog, per my agreement with BlogHer Ads (which you should click on every time you visit so I can get super rich), I cannot be given any freebies with a value greater than $40. What that means is that you can send me something for free to review only if it is hella cheap. I can buy it from you like a normal paying customer if it is more than $40, but obviously that depends on how much I like it and whether I am a hundredaire or a thousandaire that week. I can review your site, as I’ve done here, without receiving any goods, with the understanding that I can say whatever I want since you have not plied me with free stuff. Email me if you have any questions!


  1. dude, i'm not a jewelry girl either. i manage to lose every piece of jewelry put in my posession. but i lovee the ones you posted.

  2. I am much too hard on jewelry to bother with anything dainty (except my engagement ring), but if I was, I'd be all over those flower earrings.

    Not a big fan of the ring either (and not just 'cause I'm Canadian). I'd like the "Key to my Heart" earrings if they were key-less. :)

  3. That's the most honest review I have ever read. Good job.

  4. So many bloggers recieve so much free stuff so they can show it off on their blog. I feel like there isn't an honest opinion because of this trend. But with you it was totally not the case. And for that I have total respect!!!! Una once again you rock. Although I don't know if I would want my blog reviewed by you in fear of it being compared to pubes and sweatpants.

  5. Great jewellery... and from yet another Non Bling-Bling type!

    I love the hundredaire/thousandaire tone of your posts!


  6. I love jewelry, but I mostly wear polar fleece. Not compatible.

  7. I am very much a jewelry girl, myself, with the EXCEPTION of earrings. Hey, there's a yin for every yang, right? I'd love the flowers if they were a pendant or even something that would end up in my hair. Of course, then they would have to be fake, as I refuse to spend more than, say, $4 on anything that is meant to bejewel my head. Maybe if I actually styled my hair on occasion, it would be different...

  8. I on the other hand, am a total jewelry whore.
    Give me costume,real, whatever...I never leave the house adorned with some accoutrement.
    And even though you are not, I still have a massive girl crush on you anyway.
    You could be Ellen, I'll be Portia?
    Or not.

  9. I'm not a big jewelery fan either. Something about it just screams "LOOK AT THE BLING!! DON'T LOOK AT MY FACE!"

    That and I could have a teeny ring for thousands of dollars, or I could have that giant TV, a foot sauna, and a party size bag of cheetos for the same price, possibly less if cheetos are on sale at the store.

  10. She's quite talented! I'm more of a necklace person myself... mostly due to the fact that I have stretched lobes and can't really buy normal earring most of the time (haha).

    Well, necklaces and bracelets.

    I work in a jewellery store, though, so it's hard not to spend every dime I ever earn on shiny things. =)

  11. Lou Briccant6:43 PM

    I have no blog or consumer commodity for you to review. However, it stands a good chance I will need bail money Thursday evening as it's "margarita night" at Senor O'Malley's.

    May I put you on speed dial?

  12. I like the jewelry. I am the opposite of you, I only wear bracelets and necklaces, (18 total) but that is partly because my ears aren't pierced.

  13. Damn, you make me laugh every time. Ha! Makes me wish I had something for you to review, sorta. (Okay, not enough to go out and actually make jewelries or anything. It was an expression, I guess.) Because, really, I'd like your constructive criticism. Because it's funny.

    (I laughed especially loud when you said you were especially grateful you weren't born a dude. Bwa ha!)

  14. Anonymous7:56 PM

    I had to go buy earrings last week because I was going on a trip and did not have one single pair. Because I lost them all. Putting them in my pocketbook, on the beside table, in the ashtray on the porch. Who knows. They were all gone. Also, I cannot figure out what goes with what in terms of necklaces. When to wear the long one, when to wear the big one, when to wear the dainty one. Maybe Sarah could write a little advisory blog for the necklace challenged.

  15. OH I AM TOTALLY sending you some of my shit.

    also, is Eleanor getting fresh?

  16. oh I LOVE jewels and my wonderful hubby buys me all kinds...but I NEVER wear any of it. I am a PJ and hairclip gal that rarely leaves the house
    And, great job on the review. I feel it was VERY honest

  17. How do I quantify $40 worth of the chip on my shoulder?

    It's my only posession worthy of review.

  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

  19. I wonder . . . Does she make anything that would go with my boyfriend's pj pants and a tomato sauce stained t-shirt? Have I mentioned I've been wearing them two (okay, three) days? I really will wear my big trashy hoops in this outfit (the only jewelry I've owned in 10 yrs). Hm, maybe it's time to upgrade to clean t and diamonds. Okay enough, the jewelry IS beautiful.

  20. blogwalking...visit my blog...and happy blogging
    follow me please..

  21. Anonymous10:00 AM

    I clicked on it twice! :-D (the blog her thing)

  22. i didn't get through the whole post because i kept staring at how high waisted your pants were.

  23. I'm totally not a jewelry person either...and my fiance is trying to get me to be. I buy cheap stuff all the time and then forget to put it on. Today I am completely jewelry-less again. I just never remember. And I don't really care...more important things in life. LIke cookies....

  24. You are fabulous! I too, covet the flower earrings! They are girly enough to pass for girly, but subtle enough to suit me! CUTEE! I also am now obsessed with the idea of wearing half of something and tell people it is all I could afford! :) That is brilliant! I am new to blogger and blogging. I'm glad to have stumbled into your world - I enjoy your insight!

  25. Earrings in my purse with gum wrappers: check. Earrings in the car cup-holder: check. Earrings int he junk drawer of the kitchen: check. Earring in my knapsack: check. Sigh... I'm just not girlie.. is that it?

  26. Hi! I enjoy reading your blog! Would you check out mine and blog about it if you like? It is a new quirky artists blog.

    I like jewelry. I am active, outdoorsy and destroy fragile stuff. I have worn a Tibetan Goddess Tara charm for about 10 years. Finally got a good chain for it from Mignon Faget jewelry, New Orleans. The chain has survived many adventures.


    Peace, Love and Art

  27. Anonymous1:48 PM

    I stumbled across this blog the other day (http://stylestalk.com/). And I thought to myself "Sassy should TOTALLY review this blog!! It will be hilarious and might make me forget the hatred I feel at this blog's pretentiousness."
    And then they posted this: http://stylestalk.com/blog/women/dare-wear-harem-shorts And I *KNEW* that I had to send it to you. I thought the romper/harem pants were bad, BUT THEY JUST GOT WORSE!!! Do with this site as you will. (I'll just cross my fingers that you decide to comment on it.)


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