Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Momma C's Fashion Throwdown

I was at my mom's house this weekend teaching her how to use her new BlackBerry (yes, I am a certified Mom IT specialist; I also taught her how to drag things into the Recycle Bin on her computer) when she ran to her REAL LIFE recycling bin to pull out the New York Times' Style magazine from a few weeks back.

"I saw something in here," she said. "And I thought, Una would have a field day with this!"

(Turns out, though, that I didn't even need to have a field day because my mom's comments are so awesome by themselves. Observe...)

"Is this it? I think this is the one..."

"Doesn't she look like The Exorcist? It looks like snakes are about to come out of her eyes!"

"Or this one..."

"There's your poster girl for fashion. What man would look at this woman on the street and say, 'Hey baby, how you doin'?'... I mean, he'd have to be totally demented. She's one step away from spitting on you."

See? I come by my sass honestly.


  1. At least we know where ya get it from!

  2. next time i pass an attractive woman on the street, i'll be sure to give this "hey baby, how you doin'?" pickup line recommended by your mom a try.

  3. lol! well we see where you get it.
    Nice one mom

  4. She might be picked up by an ambulance to determine if she's got anemia or she's just a psychiatric emergency,or both.

  5. That second model looks like she is wearing clothes made from shrinky-dinks and skinned muppets. Neither of which do I approve.

  6. Hi Sassy, hope that's in order (the sassy bit, now if you're really good at this IT on blogging perhaps you know how to change the size of photo's. Not just three sizes on offer, but squeeze a bit extra here or there. I did a great layout for my Venice blog then when I posted it the pictures didn't appear. Then realized I had to click a little picture under edit but they didn't fit my original layout. As to fashion on the street, if there is a fashion show on T.V. I keep asking 'well who's going to go out like that?' Kind regards Patrick

  7. I can totally picture your mom (well, a mom-like figure, since I've never met your specific mom) saying "How you doin'?" in the Joey voice... Awesome.

  8. haha, this is the best ever. your mom is awesome.

  9. Love it! Your mom can be your guest blogger!

  10. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Love it!

  11. It's a natural talent.

    I helped my Dad set up the laptop he was given as a retirement present.

    9 months later I went to help him with some other issue he was having, opened up a new tab and there was a big list of porn site suggestions from his recent history! Help!

    I have to say I'm impressed, at the age of 65 to go from complete computer novice to expert porn finder in 8 months is quite an achievement - I just wish it wasn't my Dad!

  12. HAAAA!!!!! the bottom one looks like boy george!

  13. Anonymous2:00 PM

    Your mom sounds like a character. I come from a long line of characters too, ain't it great!

  14. Wow!! "She's one step away from spitting on you." Mom's totally right on. What is it with models and their "F-YOU" eyes - really? - attracting to men?

  15. I love your mom. lol.

  16. oh, i would totally ('would?' let's face it, i do) dress like a crazy person if it meant sleazy guys would not say 'hey baby, how you doin'? to me. And as a bonus, fashion models and The Velvet Underground would be all over me. i don't see the downside.

  17. Anonymous2:38 PM

    I agree with your Mom, at least on that second pic, that chick looks ridiculous. Sometimes I enjoy the entertainment factor of fashion, in that it's funny to laugh at people who will spend a month's rent on an outfit that will make them look like a homeless Sesame Street character.

  18. When is Momma C's blog forthcoming?

  19. I would rather appreciate a picture of nature.

  20. Bill Clinton6:45 PM

    I'd hit it......

  21. Your mother's absolutly hilarious! I see where you get it from (:

  22. your mum's a hoot. And it must be good to know that if you're ever having a lazy week, you have a sure thing to do a guest post.

  23. Tell your mom that I work in a nursing home for people with schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, combination of the two and lots of other things thrown into the mix. They dress like these models and they do spit! Maybe we could do a fashion shoot there. You wouldn't believe the things I see.

  24. You are my most favorite so I have bestowed upon you The Beautiful Blogger Award. Add it to your collection, you bad ass blogger you.

  25. Super models are just so TORTURED. I feel bad for them.

  26. Hi everybody! Ok, here goes at responding to comments. When will I get better at this? Probably never.

    @Richard: It's a gift, really
    @MQA: You should; my mom is great at picking up hot babes
    @Alle: The best thing about her is that she's not funny on purpose like...um, someone I know.
    @carlos: I think both.
    @RockNRoll: Agreed!
    @Once/Patrick: Sadly I am no good at much outside of the blogger template. I recently learned how to post photos using basic HTML, but that doesn't really help inside a blog template. Sorry!
    @Lucky Punk: Exactly! My mom does a GREAT Tribbiani.
    @RMb: Yeah :)
    @Julie: Haha. She prefers to remain a character in the blog.
    @Glen: Ahhhh! That's the worst. But, you're right, quite impressive, objectively.
    @DangGina: In this case, I believe, it is the crabapple.
    @Tawnya: Yeah, she does!
    @AshleyKing: So that's what happened to him...
    @innannasstar: Yes, my father and my sister are characters, too. And don't get me started on my grandmother. She really deserves her own blog.
    @Joanne: I read somewhere that to men, models' eyes read "Fuck me" and to women they read "Fuck you." It's self-loathing in marketing form.
    @Rachel: Aw, now I appreciate cat-calls, if and when they present themselves. Even from old bodega men.
    @juskaulani: Me too!
    @Museling: I asked her and she said, "I only live through Sassy." Kind of melodramatic, but there you go.
    @Kaela: Yes, they could house so many Sesame Street urchins with that money!
    @Californian: I'm not sure I understand your comment... if you're looking for pictures of nature you're in the wrong place.
    @Bill: Of course you would.
    @Zoe: Thank you!
    @Mel: I'm not sure I could get her to guest post, but I can get her drunk and try to make her say something funny.
    @Judy: I will write a letter to the Times. Thanks for the tip!
    @Lindsay: Why thank you! How lovely. And thank you for calling me bad ass. I'm not, but I like to think I am. Validation!

  27. Always say no to blue fake fur! I think that is a come hither look. Scary anyways...

  28. I'm loving your mum. For the comments. And for the fact that she puts stuff aside for you to "have a field day" with. That's mummy love. :)

  29. ... and apparently hypothermia, or dressing like the Snow Miser, was fashionable in 2010.


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