Thursday, March 18, 2010

Jeff and I Fill Out The Census Form Drunk

11:00 pm. Jeff comes home. We have both been drinking, separately. I am responding to blog comments and preparing to get my Lost on.

Jeff: Did we get any mail?
Me: We got a census form. We have to fill it out by law. Or else they'll arrest us.

(Moments later, as I am navigating Hulu...)

Me: Are you actually filling that out?
Jeff: Yes.

(I see Jeff fill in my name and date of birth.)

Me: Are you pretending to be me? That's illegal! They'll arrest you!
Jeff: No, I'm just answering the questions.
Me: (looking over his shoulder) How do you know I'm not Hispanic, Latino or Spanish?
Jeff: I checked under your hood.
Me: They have a check box that says "Negro"? That is so wrong.
Jeff: I am trying to do super important government stuff. Please be quiet.
Me: You didn't list me!
Jeff: Yes I did.
Me: You're Person #2. Where am I? ... Oh, I'm Person #1? Why wouldn't you put yourself as Person #1?
Jeff: You're Person #1 to me.

He is the greatest. But that doesn't mean I'm not potentially Hispanic.

Aaaaaand... scene! Don't blog (or fill out the census) drunk, kids!
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42 comments :

  1. Haha I'm running a census story in my morning show and now I feel like I should put that warning in there!

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  2. We do the stinkin' census every 10 years.

    So many people have dicked around writing "Jedi Warrior" as their religion on the form it's now officially recognised.

    Welcome to Australia. The land where nobody EVER takes anything seriously.

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  3. "You're person #1 to me."

    That made my heart melt a little. I even made an "awww" face at the computer screen.

    The rest was straight-up hilarious.

    I'd like to read more posts along the lines of "things (I know from experience) you shouldn't do drunk."

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  4. That is hilarious. You make the census fun!

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  5. You better fill it out.
    Otherwise, this "Negro" would have been knocking on your door.

    Up to six times...

    Knock, knock. "You could've just filled out the form."

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  6. Always a good way to start the day...reading your latest post. And, the word verification is "boyrids"...dangerously close to boy rides, which I believe is a joyride on a boy...

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  7. "Checked under your hood," that is cute.

    Your posts always make me smile.

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  8. !LOL!...I guess filling it out drunk is better than not filling it out at all. I'm sure your 10 children living in your 8,000 sq.ft. home would agree...

    ...but that $5.8 million dollar annual salary range might raise some eyebrows. Hope you guys used pencil!

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  9. Andy Rooney's rant on 60 Minutes last week was about the inevitable arguments that would ensue from assigning Person #1/Person #2 boxes on the census form. Or something like that...sometimes I don't really understand what he's trying to say.

    It seems that Jeff has proven Andy Rooney wrong! That makes me happy.

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  10. You are person #1...the man knows how to score those brownie points

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  11. haha great blog!! I've never seen it before, but I'm glad I stumbled upon it. keep up the blogging :)

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  12. Hope you don't fill out your taxes like this, lol.

    Tiffany
    http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com

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  13. Hey I came over from Mainland Street. Found this very funny post, it totally could have been me and my boyfriend. I filled out the census and didn't even notice they had a Negro check box. How is that allowed? I guess it shows how whitey mcwhite I am that I didn't even glance at the other options!

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  14. Awww...at your #1!!

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  15. My roommate and I had a similar experience. Nice to know that I am not alone.

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  16. Filled out the census for me and my roommates, needless to say, I wish I would have been drunk while doing it!

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  17. haha at least you got it done.
    seems like a fun way to fill out the census to me!!

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  18. haha! I really shouldn't read your post's when I have to pee.

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  19. Why is no one else reading the small print whereby they will arrest you for filling it out early: who is living in your house on April Fools Day?
    Husband (separately drunk): Let's fill this out.
    Me (ditto): But one of us could be dead by April 1st.
    Husband: You think?
    Me: Or maybe one of the kids will come live with us.
    Husband: Worse.

    See what you have to look forward to?

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  20. We filled out our census forms already and sent them in. FYI I was person #2 and I'm okay with that. I was disappointed there weren't more questions. If this form is so important I feel they should be asking some hard hitting questions such as "Do you feel you have enough money or should we send you some?".

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  21. Jeff is one sweet man. (:
    That #1 line was pretty darn cute.

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  22. I like the way they sent us a letter telling us they'd be sending us a letter, before actually sending the census. Deficit, what deficit?

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  23. I did not believe Carl that there was a Negro box until he showed me. That IS so wrong!

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  24. Nicce... We're filling it out tonight... and it's wine and movie night. Maybe we should try to fill it out BEFORE the boozine... great post!

    http://hisbell-mylife.blogspot.com/

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  25. Look other people play Look in Butt too: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2010/03/16/medal-of-honor/

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  26. "You're Person #1 to me."

    I awwwed. But seriously, why didn't he put himself first on the form?

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  27. My grandmother filled ours out recently. I wish I'd read it before she sent it off seeing as she thought I was born in 1946 instead of 1964.

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  28. I'm actually a tad bit jealous you have your form. I'm pretty excited about this "adult" and "grown up" and "good citizen" responsibility!!!! Lame I know. But still.

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  29. Drunk is probably the funnest way to fill out the census...

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  30. I personally find it upsetting that I have to be Person 2 simply because I didnt get the mail! I"m just saying..

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  31. I believe we should fill out the census only when drunk, so you both did good. Love Quilting in my Pyjamas response. Think we should come up with some more alternate religions.

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  32. I truly thought marriages like yours didn't exist. That's the most awesome thing to do, ever. Putting your wife first on the census form. Most. Awesome. Ever.

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  33. I am just not sure how accurate the census is- I think there are a lot of lazy people who just won't fill it out.

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  34. It's a little like late night drunken visits to Amazon, a few days later an 8 foot, stuffed Gorilla arrives.

    There should be breathalyzer application that bars you accessing the Internet over a certain amount of alcohol :-)

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  35. hi.,can you please put a comment in all my post in my blog?.,i really needed for our I.T fundamental subject.,thank you.,

    god bless!!!

    :D

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  36. this is very funny and cute :) i am black and i really dont find the negro check box offensive. as a matter of fact, i much prefer it to black or african decent(not all africans are black)! i am a negro!

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  37. I got the long form! Ugh, gonna take a while to do.

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  38. Your so funny!
    I just started my first blog so i'm new to the site lol you can friend me if you want : )

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  39. I thought the Negro box was strange too. My husband, who is on the Census 2010 Complete Count committee for our region, explained that it is because so many African Americans marked "other" and wrote in "Negro" in one of the past counts. I don't know, I guess the word has just stuck around in some populations.

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  40. Aww, person #1. Too sweet.

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  41. "Required by law", yet addressed to "the residents at " ... Pretty funny! How are they going to fine someone when they don't even know who to fine? LOL

    I filled mine out already, and went from youngest to oldest. My husband was last, and he didn't like it one bit!

    PS YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!!!!!!!!

    http://peekintomypalace.blogspot.com/

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  42. I am obsessed with this post. i read it three times

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