Um, Just Kidding. I'm Not Gone Fishin'. I'm On A Horse. With Chin Hair.

So, our flight got cancelled due to the snow in NYC (and as far down as DC I gather, since our connecting flight was also cancelled). No Florida funeral for us. However I am still staying home because I already put in for the time off and I'd have to deal with HR not to mention slog through Gary Coleman-high drifts just to get to the subway, so... SNOW DAY. Even if my work reads this they cannot be mad, because the relative is still dead and it is not my fault God wanted me to go sledding today instead of to a wake.

Of course, this means I have to blog now since I was all dramatic about my three-day hiatus. I should have just not said anything, but then I thought you guys might think I abandoned you and I thought of your sad little faces (well, I thought of sad emoticons actually, since I don't know what most of you look like) and it was too much for me to bear.

At first I thought I'd have to distract you like that dude in the Old Spice ads. Like, hey guys, I'm back. Now look down. Is that a burrito? I'm wearing a fright wig. No, I'm not. Aren't you glad I'm blogging? This blog is now made of freckles. I'm on a horse.

This is the only time I have actually been on a horse and also the only photo in which I do not look like I'm peeing from fear.

But then I went to put some concealer on (yeah, keepin' the magic alive for Jeff) and the snow outside my window flooded my face with, like, a blinding white light. And that is when I saw my chin hair. It was long enough to wave at me in the breeze like one of those inflatable Gumby-looking things you see at car washes. It was like, "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, you finally found meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" I lunged for my Tweezers. I think I even screamed "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" even though Jeff wasn't even home.

You'd think that a person with a natural unibrow would not be surprised by a chin hair, but I'm actually not a terribly hairy person (TMI, right, you are totally picturing me naked right now, aren't you? Well, now you are.) Full disclosure, YES, in seventh grade some bitch asked me if I shaved only the backs of my legs (which would be ridiculous, since the back are so much harder to reach and why would I want a reverse leg hair mullet?) but I never pictured myself as one of those old women who don't even try anymore and who shuffle around the laundromat with a full beard. Is this my destiny? Now I do want to distract myself. Uh, this chin hair is made of diamonds! Look at the Old Spice guy's pecs. Now back to the chin hair, I MEAN DIAMONDS. GOD. Now back to the Old Spice pecs? It's almost 2 o'clock. Time for wine? I'm [sob] on [sob] a [sob] HORSE!

Um, Just Kidding. I'm Not Gone Fishin'. I'm On A Horse. With Chin Hair.