But seriously, we got some serious snow (did my using the word "serious" twice in one sentence drive home the seriousness of this situation? Because it is serious. Seriously). Enough snow to make New York seem suddenly quaint and quiet, which is saying a lot.
This photo doesn't do the blizzard justice. A photo of my now four foot-wide hair would have been better.
I went to work this morning because the snow didn't seem like a big deal, but once I got there everyone was saying how it was going to get a lot worse over the course of the day and that if the subways stopped running we would be trapped. This scenario seemed to upset most people, but not me; ever since I saw Career Opportunities, in which Jennifer Connelly and Frank Whaley are stranded overnight in a Target, I have wanted nothing more than to have that happen to me.
Granted, my office isn't as fun as a Target—no roller skates, for instance, though we do have a hand-truck for delivering packages that would make a fabulous scooter—but we have a TON of booze and a vending machine full of Doritos, and if Dermot Mulroney wanted to break in and hold me hostage all I have to say is, the more the merrier, Dermot. Can I call you Dermie? Man, now I really want to Netflix that movie.
Anyway, long story short I did not stay at work all day and made it home safely, if wetly. Which left me with some down time, which I am naturally going to fill with scans of the ridiculous tabloid headlines I was fortunate enough to read during the subway ride back to Brooklyn. (My iPod ran out of juice and so I had to buy disposable reading material. I chose Life & Style and In Touch—I had to buy them both because each takes approximately three minutes to "read"... even less if, like me, you skip over anything that mentions a Kardashian or Carrie Underwood's dream wedding.)
I hope you enjoy these as much as I do:
Hey ladies! What's your type? Gay 'N Syncer or fat 'N Syncer? The world is your oyster!
This is actually from the biblical In Touch, In Testament. Other choice headlines include "Low-Cal Secrets of the Last Supper" and "Apostles: They're Just Like Us!"
Well, you made her crazy! And temporarily bald! And you are the reason Britney & Kevin: Chaotic exists (not that I saw all five episodes or anything) ! GO AWAY NOW.
Although Johnny boy is clean-shaven, I'm going to go with... his beard.
Happy snow day, East Coasters. I hope you're staying dry and not trapped in a Target somewhere. But if you are, tell Dermot I say hi. And if you need to keep warm, I bet there are some Britney & Kevin: Chaotic DVDs you can burn (for real, do not watch them, they will EAT YOUR SOUL).