UPDATE: Also not safe for children who can read (sorry, MsTaken!)
SCENE: Our living room. Saturday night. Basic couch cuddling. Jeff peeks under my dress (as he is wont to do) and observes that I am wearing a thong.
Jeff: Those can't be comfortable.
Me: They're not.
Jeff: Why do you wear them, then?
Me: VPL, dude.
Me: Visible panty line. Major faux pas.
Jeff: What about thong bikinis?
Me: I don't show my butt in public.
Jeff: Why not?
Me: I'm pasty.
Jeff: We could get some bronzer up in here.
Me: You want other people to see my ass?
Jeff pauses to think.
Jeff: What if they made front thongs?
Me: That would be... awful.
Jeff: Show me.
Putting all of my vanity and dignity aside (with help from a glug of wine), I oblige, giving myself what amounts to a front wedgie. THE MAGIC IS GONE.
Jeff: It looks like... Buckwheat hiding behind a lamppost or something.
Me: My vagina looks like the black kid from The Little Rascals?
Jeff: What? Um, no... I mean... just his hair.
Me: We are done here.
Omigah! I can't believe he said that about my vagina!