Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Family That Blogs Together...

So Jeff started a photo blog. He already has 33 followers and is getting great feedback. Yesterday I made a comment on one of his posts, in which he asked for reactions to a photobooth self-portrait he took on Saturday during our bar crawl. I decided on a tender, loving message ("I'd hit that."*). And he rejected my comment, y'all. Rejected! Apparently he wants his blog to be "professional," unlike a certain person he knows who blogs about running out of underwear and swimming drunkenly with gay men. Whatever, Martha!**

It should be noted that Jeff has never once commented on this blog, which I take as a sign of love. He doesn't defend himself or respond to my one-sided accounts of our interactions; he lets me lord over my own spazzy universe without trying to bring me back to reality. The rest of my family members, bless them, do the same. My dad, who actually had a blog long before I did, comments rarely but always to praise or congratulate me (as he did last week, alerting me that I have more Facebook fans than The New Yorker's political podcast). My mother refrains from commenting, preferring to respond to me privately via email, but has recently taken to threatening that some day she will start commenting using the handle "Big Momma." My sister occasionally comments but reads every day, turning her friends onto the blog as well. I am so lucky to have a family that allows me to defame them on the Internet without protest! Tell-all memoir, here I come!

*And I totally have. I have hit all four of these men... at the same time!

I'm a big ho for guys in ties.

**Have you seen this show? Martha Stewart's daughter and one of her friends just watch Martha's show and make fun of it. It is so random and awesome, plus the best career-boosting manipulation of celebrity parentage I have ever seen. "Whatever, Martha!" is my new favorite saying.

PS: Check out my fancy new ads courtesy of BlogHerAds! If you click on them, you can help me realize my dream of one day working from home wearing only my Bartman T-shirt and underpants (the latter of which I will soon have a surplus of because obviously I will be insanely rich from all of that ad revenue).


  1. I'm loving that he wants genuinely professional-only comments on pictures of him appearing to try and seduce the camera.

    Or the gremlin inside the machine who churns out the pictures.

    Men in ties are hot, facial hair is also hot!

  2. i have that same bartman t shirt. i will never part with it.

  3. "I'm a big ho for guys in ties."

    This has to be my favorite line of the week. Second only to "I have hit all four of these the same time." Sigh. I love the Internet.

  4. REJECTED?!? That's harsh.

    My mother comments on my blog under the name "Mama Bunny" and my readers LOVE her. Every time she leaves a comment she calls me and asks if I read her comment and whether I thought it was funny. The answer is always "yes" (I moderate my comments, so OF COURSE I read it!) and "yes" (whether it was funny or not - after all, this is my mother we're talking about).

    BTW - I'd TOTALLY hit that... :)


  5. @Sproglet: In his defense, he was pretty drunk at the time :)

    @Kristina: WORD, SISTER.

    @Julie: It will never get less awesome to have people quote me back to me. I always think of Bruno Kirby in When Harry Met Sally.

    @David: Oh man, I would have to do that too if my mom ever starts commenting. Ha! Also, I think it's so funny that another man can say he would do my husband and it's ok, whereas all the girls know they had better step off.

  6. "Whatever, Martha" is the best, most addictive show. Alexis and Jennifer are hilarious. I recently started following your blog and I love your blazing honesty, so thanks.
    Also, no thanks for reminding me of "Whatever, Martha", as I recently moved to England and can't watch it anymore. Lame.

  7. i'm a big fan too! ooh ooh, do you have any interest in sharing guest-blogs...or is that too incestuous? or something. maybe one day i will just pick your brain about how to actually be a writer.

  8. @Gesci: Oh no, it has? How did I not know? I haven't watched it except online...

    @Annie: Actually that could be a fun idea; I've never let guest-bloggers on before but with my 30th bday coming up I could do a special series... let's talk.

  9. Rejection is never fun, aw! ;)

  10. I'm clicking that add at least twelve times

  11. LoLz...I'm tempted to say, "I'd hit it!" but the dude's married...!

  12. Please direct me to the swimming drunkenly with gay men post. I can't believe I could have missed something like that.

    "'I'd hit that.'"

    I just DOUBLE quoted you! :)

  13. I'm a new fan, stumbled across you yesterday!

    My husband laughs at me watching "Whatever Martha" but I'm slightly addicted. Everytime I go to load dishes now, I picture Martha listening intently to the lady describing just how to put the forks & spoons in and Alexis proclaiming how retarded you have to be not to know how to load silverware. It still makes me laugh!

    (Oh, and PS, Target has the Batman shirt & underwear sets right now.)

  14. Ive gone swimming drunkedly with gay men, these are good times all should partake in!

  15. I love that he 'rejected' your comment, too... shows that he's confident in your relationship. :)

  16. Anonymous9:41 PM

    I'm going to open a sister site to this and it's going to feature lots of unflattering things about you and your personal hygiene. I'm calling it "The Crappy Curmudgeon".



  17. @Richard It's ok, I know he lurves me.

    @NC17 YES.

    @Shitty: Yeah, and his wife is CRAZY jealous. She will cut a bitch.

    @BeccaGo: This doesn't go into much detail but here it is:

    @Kristen Ha! And OMG, I am going to Target RIGHT NOW.

    @Devon: Agreed

    @Catherine: Indeed, but... see comment below yours.

    @Anonymous: And... I was asking for that. Thanks, honey! xo

  18. Anonymous11:55 PM

    I remember reading the comment about how many followers you had and thinking what a sweet comment. What a great Dad. Love the sunglasses on the fourth guy you hit.

  19. I have this unfounded fear that somehow my blog will become super-famous and people will be pissed off at me, so I have taken to using pseudonyms for my friends. I call my hubby "the hubby" and my kid "the kid", but it's kind of getting annoying and difficult.

    Also because I am so afraid of offending people, I have only told like three people that the blogs even exist. I'm guessing that this greatly decreases my chances of ever gaining the super-popularity that requires the pseudonyms, so it's sort of a vicious circle, isn't it?

    It must be awesome to have your family reading what you write and being so supportive of you, but do you think that you edit yourself because you know that they're reading? Just wondering!

  20. @Chicken: Those are my giant sunglasses! Thanks!

    @TB: I absolutely edit myself, all the time. I would never air any private family stuff because I know they all read the blog. My parents are in the process of a divorce, which I have almost never written about, and I would never divulge things about my sex life or anything over the line like that. I think pseudonyms are smart for that reason, and I don't think it'll keep your blog from greatness :)

  21. At least Jeff allows you to refer to him by name on your blog. My "husband" became comfortable with the idea of my blog only after I promised not to reveal his name, industry, or any identifying information about him. Like he has some secret identity to uphold. Bah!

    But he pays the bills right now, so I comply.

  22. You know, Colleen, I never really asked him if I could refer to him by name. I just did.

    A few of my friends have specifically asked that I not use their last names so that people who Google them won't find the blog. I'm all, "WHAT?! If potential employers know that you are friends with a fine and saucy blogger such as myself they will TOTES hire you!"

    I guess only me and Jeff are Google-able based on the blog. It's far too late for me of course (I never really tried too hard at anonymity) but I can still save my husband.

  23. @Sassy- where? I can't find it online!

    @ Kristen- I hear Alexis and Jennifer in my head (from that same episode) every time I hand wash a wooden handle utensil. That show did make me want to learn how to make a yo-yo quilt though... curses, Martha!

  24. I definitely need to get some fancy ads, I don't have the Batman shirt but I'd love to work from home in just my underpants!

    BTW I'm totally stealing "Whatever Martha!"

  25. I do watch Martha's daughter's show
    and what makes it great is that she has like a license to kill privilege that makes it great.
    It's as if Martha has a duet of her
    own John Stewart clones,reviewing her.

    AND YES,Iwill clic on Ads for your kaching,I hope you retribute my site with same.


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