Thursday, January 7, 2010

Top Ten Celebrities Who Scare the Bejesus Out of Me

So, guys, just FYI every time I make a list this year I am going to use this image:

You are welcome.

1. Carrot Top (This I feel is universal. Shudder.)
2. Gary Coleman (Ditto. Shudder.)
3. Jake Busey (See also: Flesh-colored hair, visible gums)
4. Gary Busey (See also: Jake Busey)
5. Mary Murphy/Marie Osmond (Bonus creep factor: They may be the same person. Have they ever been in the same place at the same time?)

Redrum! Redrum!

6. Ginnifer Goodwin (Inexplicable; it's something about her face.)
7. Crispin Glover (Sorry, Mr. McFly. Now all I can think about when I see you are sad retarded people and rats and you sniffing that lock of hair in Charlie's Angels.)
8. Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Perpetual coke eyes, like he's constantly doing the Care Bear Stare.)
9. Tyra Banks (That's not a smize, it's an imperceptible laser beam transmitting your exact location to a remote missile launcher.)
10. Browlifted Rick Springfield (Lately something's changed and it's hard to define/Rick's gone and got himself a browlift and it really blows my mind.)

And no, I'm not having trouble thinking up topics for blog posts, why do you ask?



  1. Ouizee4:21 PM

    Rick Springfield, droopy browed or not, never called Jenny. Tommy Two Tone knew exactly who to turn to, though.
    Please add Ivana Trump to the list, and know that if you ever cross that bitch you will live to regret it.

  2. OMG, I can't believe I confused those two 80s one-hit wonders. Copy has been updated. Thank you Ouizee!

  3. you had me until crispin.
    now our affair is over.

  4. No, Hipstercrite, please, come back!

    (Even if you love him you must admit he is creepy. It's like a scientific fact.)

  5. I can't believe Toni Collette didn't make it. Even after United States of Tara? Come on Curmudgeon! You're spot on for the rest though...

  6. Chris is Chicago7:00 PM

    Ick and agreement in all 10. If you had a #11, how about Bruce Jenner? Seeing him in ads for the Kardashian Krap Krew really scares me. (eesh...)

  7. What about:

    Michelle Rodriguez (Because she always seems like she’s two seconds away from punching someone.)
    Quentin Tarantino (Love his movies but come on, he’s creepy.)
    Brett Michaels (Walking Herpes and hair extensions. Need I say more?)

  8. Anonymous11:47 AM

    I've been told I look like Ginnifer Goodwin. Thanks for the complex. :(

  9. @BP Good call.

    @Chris YES, I thought about adding Bruce Jenner. Shudder.

    @Nicole I agree with Michelle and Quentin but I kind of love Bret Michaels. I know, I know.

    @Anonymous She's gorgeous, but she never smiles. And I feel like she's always giving me the evil eye. I'm sure YOU wouldn't do that.

  10. I give you Ginnifer Goodwin only for how she spells her name. (BIG LOVE is sacred with me. Talk about creepy. :)


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