Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Kate Plus 8... Inches (Get Your Mind Out of the Gutter, That Is Not What I Meant)

Well folks, Kate Gosselin's gone and fancied up her lady mullet again.


I'm sorry, K8 (GET IT? BECAUSE SHE HAS EIGHT KIDS! I'M SUCH A SCAMP), but since when is plopping on Britney's weave from a year ago considered starting over?


The bangs may be on the other side, but do not kid yourselves: This is the same piece of hair.

Starting over should start with a shower. Followed immediately by a good, swift kick in the ass and maybe also some hot wings.

You know who I bet would like to help you start over, K8? I'll give you a hint: He's right next to you on the cover and he's making "this guy" thumbs (Who has killer abs and owns slightly less Ed Hardy paraphernalia than your douchey ex? Thisguy!).

Seriously, K8. Get on that. Just not in the Jersey Shore hot tub, which I'm pretty sure is a teeming Tanqueray-and-syphillis cocktail.
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7 comments :

  1. Haha. The classic syphtini. I'm pretty sure that's the happy hour special at Bamboo! and Karma.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel rejected from life as a non TV watcher.

    This still made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. K8 + Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino = Reality Show HELL.

    How impressed are you that I know Mr. Thumbs Up/Abs' name?

    What?!? Not impressed at all?!? ...

    XOXOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ooh. That is nasty. And who
    would want britney's hair anyway?! Do they know where it's been and how much illegal crap would be in it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, David, I know his name too. In fact, how sad is it that I didn't mention his name because I just ASSUMED everyone knew The Situation?

    Ellie: Yes, never trust a weave. Especially if it's bestowed on you by Tyra Banks.

    ReplyDelete
  6. She is so misguided. If she thinks the extensions will help her secure a new man in '010, she should be reminded that, at the end of the day, she still has eight kids.

    ReplyDelete

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