Anyway, today on her blog Lauren bemoans being told she looks like celebrities who are not really that attractive, i.e. Courtney love "right after she got plastic surgery." Ha! I can sort of relate to this: I almost never get told I look like anyone famous, but when I do it is—without fail—highly offensive.
My father—who is constantly devastated by people telling him he's a dead ringer for William H. Macy (I myself think he's more of a Frank Sinatra: all ears and smiles and twinkling eyes)—will never live down the day in high school that he told me I looked like Hillary Clinton. Another time, remarking on my jet-black hair, vampire-pale skin and penchant for wearing red, he observed that I kind of reminded him of Michael Jackson.
Even when people are trying to be nice my celebrity look-alikes are laughable. On one memorable night my freshman year, a drunk dude tried to hit on me thusly:
HIM: "Una? Like Uma Thurman?"
ME: "Um, I guess. But with an 'n.'"
HIM: "You're prettier than Uma Thurman."
I am fine with how I look, but that? That is a blatant lie and will not get anyone laid, least of all someone wearing Adidas slip-on sandals and a visor.
If I am casting a movie version of my life in my head (which I do surprisingly often) I consider a few different actors for the leading role: Zooey Deschanel, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Murphy. But if I'm being really honest with myself, there is only one woman who can truly play me, and that is Jane Adams.
See? She was at the Golden Globes! I told you, circle of life.
You may remember Jane as the nervous anorexic in The Anniversary Party or the lonely teacher who goes on a date with Jon Lovitz in Happiness. She's 44, so maybe she could split the part with Alyson Hannigan, who in truth looks more like my sister but who could pass for me with dark hair and less coordination. For the child version of me, obviously Lourdes Leon was born to play the part. She just needs some skin bleaching and stirrup pants.