On Buzzfeed today, I found this handy flow chart to determine whether or not you should eat a piece of food once you drop it on the floor (I don't need a flow chart, of course—I have Jeff... and at least a 50% success rate at telling chocolate gelato from feces).
Not everyone is a champion floor-eater like myself, so I thought I'd make my own chart, which hopefully someday will be a part of a Frank T.J. Mackey-like seminar that will make me rich and famous, if occasionally waylaid by a bacterial infections.
You are welcome.
Click to enlarge; this is super-scientific and important.
My husband doesn't believe in the 5 second rule. I told him that it was worse than telling kids there was no Santa.
ReplyDeleteHaha I love this! Congrats on being a blot of note.
ReplyDeleteI want to print wallet-sized cards of this to tote around. yessss
ReplyDeleteThanks guys! Post Grad, thanks for letting me know. So exciting! Hope you stick around.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, so exciting! The first blog on my regular blogroll to become a blog of note. I'd like to think I had something to do with it.
ReplyDeleteSo basically, if it's health food, don't eat it, and in all other cases, it's safe.
I was so excited when I saw you were a blog of note!! And jealous too! Congrats, well deserved.
ReplyDeleteColleen -- It was totally all you.
ReplyDeleteAnd Laurnie -- Every time I've been drunk for the past few months I've harassed Blogger via Twitter to make me Blog of Note. My system can work for you too!
:)
Dammit... I'm destined to always be the bridesmaid to these wonderful Blog of Note people. I swear they just keep choosing the blogs off my reading list...
ReplyDeleteThe five-second rule? If you have a pug you won't even make it past one. Opportunity gone.
If you are truly interested in the validity of the 5 second rule, The Mythbusters did a segment on it last year I think.
ReplyDeleteHello. My name is Chris and I am a nerd. The first step is admitting you have a problem...
blah, testing OpenID ;)
ReplyDeletethat was nice :)
ReplyDeleteFound you thru blog of note...that made me laugh, so i'll continue reading! :)
ReplyDeleteYour chart is much better than the one that inspired it!
ReplyDeleteOK. I love your profile picture and the fact that you are a SASSY curmudgeon, the most amazing personal statement I have ever come across, makes you my new virtual best friend.
ReplyDeleteKeep it coming my friend!
Denise Burks
www.successinthesuburbs.blogspot.com
Ellie: Like I told Laurnie, all it takes to be Blog of Note is the ability to shamelessly throw yourself at Blogger.
ReplyDeleteChrisy: I LOVE MYTHBUSTERS! Oh man I have to find that episode.
leonel: Um, okay. Thanks, I guess?
ogłoszenia matrymonialne: It WAS nice, wasn't it? I think so.
Emily: Thanks! I hope you stick around!
Greg: Right? I need to work on stuff that can go viral.
Denise: The unibrow is real. So glad you like the blog. I love your personal statement, too. Thanks for the link!
I'm allergic to chocolate :(
ReplyDeletehttp://fromzerotoamultinational.blogspot.com/
So funny!!
ReplyDeletevery, very funny! I am a huge fan of the 5 second rule, but the lettuce that falls on the ground is in the garbage before I can even start counting! Funny how that works :).
ReplyDeleteThis one actually might come in handy. I mentioned this one on my blog.
ReplyDeleteha! this is fantastic :) I will most assuredly bring this one up at lunch today...
ReplyDeletehttp://matcha-and-metyl.blogspot.com/
Totally the funniest thing ive seen in a while besides the girl scout cookie picture up top, couldnt agree more!
ReplyDelete