Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Twelve Days of Runway

"Sorry kiddo, but your ass does look like it's in the front."

I am kind of in denial about the end of Project Runway, as boring as the season ended up being and as stressful as it was to recap within 14 hours, especially considering that 8 of those hours were spent sleeping. Tonight is the first non-Thanksgiving Thursday that I will be without ProjRun, and tomorrow will be the first Friday morning (again, excepting last week) that I won't be kicking myself for the fact that, even though I dutifully pounded a Diet Coke as I walked home from the viewing party at Jess and Kerry's, I managed to write exactly three sentences before I fell asleep spooning my warm laptop.

So. I've decided to get nostalgic and festive at the same time.

Ahem....

On the first day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the second day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the third day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the fourth day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the fifth day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me FIVE ASSES IN THE FRONT! Four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the sixth day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me six French maids at a funeral, FIVE ASSES IN THE FRONT! Four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the seventh day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me seven pieces of toilet paper caught in a windstorm, six French maids at a funeral, FIVE ASSES IN THE FRONT! Four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the eighth day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me eight power bitches, seven pieces of toilet paper caught in a windstorm, six French maids at a funeral, FIVE ASSES IN THE FRONT! Four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the ninth day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me nine popes at a sex club, eight power bitches, seven pieces of toilet paper caught in a windstorm, six French maids at a funeral, FIVE ASSES IN THE FRONT! Four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the tenth day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me ten Tims a-tisking, nine popes at a sex club, eight power bitches, seven pieces of toilet paper caught in a windstorm, six French maids at a funeral, FIVE ASSES IN THE FRONT! Four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the eleventh day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me eleven Ninas scowling, ten Tims a-tisking, nine popes at a sex club, eight power bitches, seven pieces of toilet paper caught in a windstorm, six French maids at a funeral, FIVE ASSES IN THE FRONT! Four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches and a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Barbie.

On the twelfth day of runway, Michael Kors gave to me twelve Heidis aufing, eleven Ninas scowling, ten Tims a-tisking, inexplicable guest judges, nine popes at a sex club, eight power bitches, seven pieces of toilet paper caught in a windstorm, six French maids at a funeral, FIVE ASSES IN THE FRONT! Four elongated marshmallows, three disco pumpkins, two paper brioches aaaaaaaaand a barefoot Appalachian Li'l Abner Baaaaaaaaaaaaaarbie.

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.

Share/Bookmark

5 comments :

  1. SO GOOD! I especially love "seven pieces of toilet paper caught in a windstorm." The new season will be here before you know it, and then you'll be wondering where the whole hiatus had gone to!

    ReplyDelete
  2. thank you for this. i wish i knew when the next season starts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Matt has a question for you Una: How different would Project Runway be if Tyra Banks were the host? In a mentor-like role that she takes on ANTM, not in a wacko jacko role that she plays as the producer of ANTM.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rachel -- You're welcome! I heard a rumor that Season 7 starts on January 17.

    Adri -- Oh my God, that is like the best pop culture essay question ever. Let me think on it.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...