Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm On An Xmas Gift Theme Today, So...

One more thing: When I was younger I used to watch my parents unwrap historical biographies and tubes full of socks and think, 'When I get old enough to become excited by socks, please kill me, Santa.'


2009 Christmas List Items That Would Make Fifteen Year-Old Me Want To Die of Shame

Socks—like I'm going to spend my hard-earned money on socks instead of wine and iTunes downloads

Sheets—what? Sheet are expensive, son.

Shampoo/Conditioner—see also: Socks

Of course, it goes both ways...

1995 Christmas List Items That Make Current Me Want To Die of Shame

More truly amazing (and highly embarrassing) list artifacts can be found here.

“The Complete Guide to Melrose Place”—JK, I wish I still had this. But my official position is still “die of shame”

Carpenter jeans from dELiA*s—to go with my two-tone platform sneakers from dELiA*s, obvi

Butterfly barettes (sic)—sparkly—because how could I match un-sparkly barrettes to my oversize Hole tee-shirt? (a band I had never listened to but which my friend Anna liked).

“Showboat” soundtrack—See? Of course I didn’t listen to Hole.

P.S. I like to think that "not kidding" parentheses about the pom-pom hat was directed at 2009 me. My sarcasm—and hatred of hats—hadn't fully developed in 1995



  1. I always wait for X-mas to get the underwear/sock/soap/floss/chap stick stocking stuffers. Whoa. That makes me sound super dirty. Like I don't have clean underwear or use floss until after Dec. 25th.

  2. I don't judge. I ran out of underwear a few days ago and have been wearing my husband's boxer briefs.

  3. I may have said this in the past, but Freshman year of college all I asked for was socks and underwear so I didn't have to do laundry every week. It's not shameful to ask for the necessities. I too, prefer to spend my cash on wine and food.

    And I remember when CKOne came out and it was so obnoxiously huge. But I wasn't allowed to wear perfume. So I played my Hole "Live Through This" album on repeat instead :-P

  4. Anonymous8:18 PM

    Oh god, the fact that i was so into Hole is worse than anything on that list. Love you! -Anna

  5. Oh man half these things were on my Xmas list the same year... Except I was 6 haha.

    (Especially Clueless. It changed my life. Still trying to figure out if it was for better or worse ha.)

  6. Anonymous3:37 AM

    If there is a melrose place computer game it's for me!!!!!

    how did you miss that?

  7. Shhhh... I didn't miss it, I was hoping no one would notice!


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