Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Sassy Curmudgeon's Holiday Gift Guide, Part 5: Tannenbaum Toppers

True story:

My great-aunt Pauline, who has since passed away, was an avid crossword puzzle fan. I never really knew her—I mostly remember that she had an almost cliché old person's house, with a squawking bird and actual circus peanuts in a candy dish and a TV that was always on at a maddeningly low volume—but she and my father spoke on a relatively regular basis, and she would sometimes call up with questions about crossword puzzle clues.

One afternoon some years ago my father received such a call:

AUNT PAULINE: "What do you call those little hats Jewish people wear? Ask your wife." [Ed. note: my mother is a half-blood, non-religious Jew]

DAD: "Uh... do you mean a yarmulke?"

AUNT PAULINE: "No, it's only four letters."

DAD: "Well, what's the clue?"

AUNT PAULINE: "Tannenbaum topper."

DAD: (struggling to hold back laughter) STAR. It's star. Tannenbaum means tree.

And people wonder why I don't identify more with my Jewish roots.

Anyway, if you've been reading my HuffPo recaps, you know that Project Runway Season 6 contestant Shirin Askari was partial to wearing yarmulke-like caps that I mocked probably more than was necessary.

And here is my payback: they're for sale.


Yes, these felt hats—perfect for Peter Pan's bar mitzvah, should he ever grow up—COULD BE YOURS AT THE CLICK OF A BUTTON!!! Just in time for Hannukah, or, as my Aunt Pauline might call it, Tannenbaum lights.
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