I Wants To Be A Millionaire!

Just like stupid racists, stupid spammers never cease to amuse.

Check out the email I just got (title: GOOD NEWS):


This is the saddest excuse for an email scam I have ever seen. Dr. Olu Philips, the Nigerian diplomat I am currently helping to transfer $31.5 million into the US, would be ashamed. First of all, why not make up a bank? WHY THE SENATE?

Does the official Senate secretary really use Gmail? Is this the mock Senate of Butte High School in Montana? And yes, I used that as an example because Butte is always funny. It's like butt!

I love—LOVE—that the return address is Senate's official Mail and that the official Senate email is senateoffice@yahoo.com.

Also, since when did Joe Biden step down as President of the Senate? Who is this this David Mark? And why is there a period after his name? Is that something you can change, like when you get married? If so, can I have an exclamation point attached to mine?

Finally, who is issuing ATM cards with million-dollar balances? Is someone from Goldman Sachs trying to offload their Christmas bonus?

I guess these scammers realized that if they were to create a mock government email address or claim to be Joe Biden, they would probably get convicted of a felony. Still, spell check exists for a reason. And no one uses Yahoo anymore (except my husband, who charmingly prefers to stay about 10 years in the technological past. OMG. Maybe David Mark is Jeff. I'm sorry I didn't give you laundry money, baby, but you can just ask.)

I Wants To Be A Millionaire!