Saturday, October 24, 2009

Swag Hag

So this Thursday pre-Project Runway viewing (check out my latest recap here), I went to a StyleFixx shopping party with my friend Sarah.

We didn't go to shop—there was a Groupon that got us into the event for $15, where we were promised 5 drinks and a swag bag, which we figured were worth more than the cost of admission already. Plus, Kara Janx from season three of ProjRun was supposed to be there selling her stuff, which Sarah thought would be good blog fodder.

The place was packed, but we pushed our way through to the bar and got electric pink cocktails (because, you know, we're girls). We perused all of the stalls—mostly clothing, bags, jewelry, and one solitary Cabot cheese table which was fucking mobbed because it was the only food in the place, if you don't count the Atkins snack bars being handed out like hors d'oevures.

We couldn't find Kara, so Sarah got in line to get a makeover while I tried on feathered Kenley headbands and bumped into people. Then, finally, I spotted her in a corner, sitting behind a table surrounded by racks of her designs. I pulled Sarah from the line (someone held her place) and we rushed over in the hopes of getting a photo op.

That's when I chickened out. I don't like to inconvenience people, and as Kara rose up from behind her table I saw that she was pregnant. She also looked vaguely frightened, as if anticipating fans like me who would try to corner her. I decided to work up my nerve by asking her about her work.

"Excuse me," I said, plucking a sparkly dress from the racks, "Do you know what size this is?"

"It's a small or medium," she said. "Go ahead, just try it on over your clothes."

I shuffled over to the wall and dumped my bags and coat. Then I shimmied the dress over my voluminous teal top and jeans. I walked over to the full length mirror to see what it looked like as Kara watched me. It was cute enough, but fell below my knees, making me look squat and kind of rotund. I had hoped that it would be perfect, so that I could buy it, but I couldn't justify buying an unflattering dress in order to take a photo with a reality show fourth runner up, so I took it off and put it back. Then I pretended to look for other potential purchases.

"Do you want me to ask?" Sarah whispered. "I can tell her you're really shy."

"No!" I hissed. "That would be so much worse."

"Just ask," she said.

But I couldn't. I don't know why. It just seemed so lame. Sarah flipped through some photos she'd taken of me trying on the dress.

"Oh look!" she said, pointing to one. "There she is." In the background of one photo, Kara's head could be seen peeking out from behind the table as I looked in the mirror. I had unwittingly pulled a Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything. But at least, I guess, I got a photo [which will be posted here when Sarah sends it to me].

I also got drunk! And I got a bag full of interesting swag, which I've decided to showcase via video. My sister, Zoe, was here hanging out so she helped. [We are not drunk in the video, depite giggling to the contrary. Also for some reason my PhotoBooth function takes videos that are backwards, so all type and branding shows up in reverse. Oops.] Enjoy!



  1. I just recently bought that exact bar of red chili chocolate and I have to say it's really good. *If you like the slight burning sensation it leaves in the back of your throat and stomach. Because that's fun, right? Not acid reflux at all.
    MMMmmm.... Chocolate that tastes like burning.

    * - this could be due to the fact that I don't eat spicy foods.

  2. Una, i'll have you know that in my swag bag I got not one but TWO of those ridiculously giant maxi-pad things. Did you sneak yours into my bag??? I feel bad about sending them to a landfill (though sadly that's where they all end up in the end) but i have no idea what to do with them and they're taking up a lot of space in my bathroom. Maybe i should put them on craigslist or something...


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