Thursday, September 17, 2009

SuperSmize Me

I don't recap ANTM, because Rich over at fourfour does it so well already, but I must take a moment to discuss a new term Tyra tried to coin last night on the show: "SMIZE."

It is is short for what has become one of Ty-Ty's most oft-used directives to the models: "Smile With Your Eyes." However, the definition over at Urban Dictionary makes me think Tyra might have been smize-ing when she thought it up...

(Also I think whoever wrote this had just smized. Nice sentence structure!)

She then had the ladies dress in Pepto Bismol-hued, camel toe-making bodysuits for a SMIZE-off that looked like it was set aboard the Starship Enterprise. One model, Jennifer, has a lazy left eye, so sadly she was outsmized by Bianca, a dead ringer for Wesley Snipes in Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. (For the record, this is why I don't recap this show... being nasty about other women's looks just feels wrong, much like Look In Butt felt wrong to my friend Salvador in 1983).




Anyway, back to SMIZE. When I was in 9th grade I had a cool assignment. Our teacher asked us to write a paper that outlined some changes we would make to the English language. I decided to combine articles and nouns like the Europeans sometimes do. I proposed that any noun that began with a vowel would become one with the article before it. For example, "The apple" would become "Th'apple". So I like the thinking behind SMIZE. I like the idea of shortening a sentence into a single word. What other imperatives could be transformed?

Stop! In the name of love! could be STOVE. But then people would get confused. "Wait, did I leave something on the burner? Or would you like me to stop in the name of love?"

Shake what yo' mamma gave ya could be SHAVEYA. But again, that could be misinterpreted as permission to come at you with a razor.

Sigh. Tyra wins again.
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1 comment :

  1. An amazing follow-up:

    http://jezebel.com/5365898/tyra-teaches-larry-king-how-to-smize/gallery/

    ReplyDelete

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