Hello there, friends. It's never too early to start shopping for that special someone on your list this Christmas, or Hannukah, or Kwanzaa or pagan holiday.
For instance, do you know a pedophile that already has everything (well, everything that the fuzz hasn't already confiscated for evidence)? How about some fun gag soaps in the shape of tiny baby hands?
They come in all colors and sizes, because while they may be incredibly creepy and wrong, they are NOT racist.
Look—it's like they're waving hello! Or crying for help!
And what an adorable, tiny baby fist. You can make it punch you in the eye... or pretend it's at a Black Panther rally!
For the low, low cost of $20, you or a loved one could soon be the proud owner of these little glycerine chunks of disembodied cherubs. And they're "lightly scented," too. I bet they smell like Santa's very soul.