For your weekend enjoyment, I give you the Cap-sac. I can't really tell if it's real or a joke (the site does seem to sell them, so my hope is that the Cap-sacs are as real as their throwback Caboodles-style logo), but it got my creative juices flowing and I had to express myself in rap, as I am wont to do.
CAP-SAC (to the tune of "Top That" from Teen Witch)
by Una C. LaMarche
I’m dope, and they know it
When I wear my head sac everybody says show it
It’s blue or it’s red
Store my wallet on my forehead
You can cram an entire sandwich into my Cap-sac!
You can probably fit a beer can into my Cap-sac!
It’s a hat
With a flap
And when I show my sac off people say Oh Snap!
You can have my Hammer pants but you can’t have my Cap-sac!
Super 80s, vaguely sexual, don't make you look intellectual, I know that you all wanna go and buy a Cap-sac!
Such a waste of fanny space but I like my sacs in my face
I wish that you would take a look at my fly Cap-sac!
Take off that fedora and put on a cap-sac.
I wish you would stop sweating my amazing Cap-sac
Holds my dollars, so
Holla at my funky Cap-sac
Saying sac is funny, say it loud: Cap-sac!
Cap-sac, big deal
Comes in red, comes in blue
It won't make a fool of you