Anyway, the most wonderful time of the year has arrived for HGH and her brain-rotted brethren...TV premiere season. It's here! It's here! No more lackluster summer programming! Instead, shiny new plotlines! Cliffhangers finally resolved! Hours and hours of entertainment stretching out to infinity like Christmas presents just waiting to be opened! OMG can you even stand it? I got this in the mail on Saturday and I actually squealed with glee:
First of all, PACEY WITTER I LOVE YOU. CALL ME. Second of all, here are the shows I'll be watching (and therefore, you should be watching) this season*:
GLEE (FOX, Wednesdays, 9pm; premiered 9/9)
Did I ever tell you that I was in my elementary school glee club, and that we performed a very un-PC Christmas song called "Pablo the Reindeer"? And did I tell you that I was a wannabe musical theater geek in high school? Or perhaps you've added it up by now? Anyway, obviously I love this hour-long musical dramedy, which follows a sadsack high school chorus as it tries to win Nationals. It has many musical numbers, but they're all covers, so it's not like a regular musical. It's more like watching your dorky friends do karaoke, only they're really, REALLY good and they have choreography. Apart from the music, this show is basically the movie Election, adapted into a weekly TV format. It's quirky, funny, touching, and it has Jane fucking Lynch. It is like jazz hands in my heart.
GOSSIP GIRL (CW, Mondays, 9pm; premieres tonight, 9/14)
I'll be honest with you: when Gossip Girl started back in ’07, I wasn't into it. I thought it was a poor man's OC, transferred to Manhattan. But I was wrong: It is a RICH man's OC, transferred to Manhattan. It is even more soapy and ridiculous and addictive than The OC, and as an added bonus there is no Mischa Barton (she is starring in a new show this season called The Beautiful Life: TBL, which for some reason cracks me up as it seems oh-so pretentious to give your own show a nickname before anyone else has a chance to. Maybe I'll start calling this blog The Sassy Curmudgeon: TSC). Anyway, you should watch Gossip Girl, if only to be able to laugh riotously at NY Mag's weekly recap that pits the realistic plot points against the unrealistic ones (Sample quip: How come no one's phone is ever on vibrate?? Minus 3.)
THE OFFICE (NBC, Thursdays, 9pm, premieres 9/17)
Some say that The Office has lost its mojo, but I am here to tell you that I have spent the last few weeks watching the past three seasons and this show's still got it. To all nonbelievers who won't watch because they love the original British version: I loved it too, and I didn't watch The Office until after season 3! And then I got hooked, because the American show is like a child of the British show, like a tiny calf who struggled to learn to walk but then grew up and became its very own cow. And yes, I am sticking with that metaphor, because I started it. Steve Carrell, Rainn Wilson and an amazing cast of supporting players provide the show a zany hilarity, and of course Jim and Pam (John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer) are the soft, mushy heart. This is the only TV show about which I am borderline obsessed, so don't hate on it or I might have to use my Chinese star on you, Dwight Schrute-style.
COMMUNITY (NBC, Thursdays, 9:30 pm until 30 Rock comes back on, premieres 9/17)
OK, I actually haven't watched this, but two words, guys: CHEVY CHASE. Fletch, Clark Griswold, Land Shark... this man is comedy gold.
HOUSE (FOX, Mondays, 9 pm, special two-hour premiere 9/21)
I like Hugh Laurie, but I don't regularly watch House. I should, but generally I'm watching Gossip Girl. Definitely watch the season premiere, though, because my friend Lin co-stars.
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (CBS, Mondays, 8:30 pm, premieres 9/21)
DEXTER (Showtime, Sundays, 9 pm, premieres 9/27)
I started watching Dexter because I loved Michael C. Hall as David on Six Feet Under. But it turns out I just love Michael C. Hall in anything. Dexter is weird, disturbing, and totally original. Some of the supporting cast isn't really up to par, but you get over it. It's one of the rare TV shows that manages to be a genuine thriller. You get the creepy-crawlies and it feels so good!
30 ROCK (NBC, Thursdays, 9:30 pm, premieres 10/15
While I am obsessed with The Office and love HIMYM, I must concede that 30 Rock is actually the best comedy on television. Like Liz Lemon's beloved Sabor de Soledad cheese snacks, 30 Rock is tangy, delicious, and almost too good to be true. But unlike Sabor de Soledad (why??? why don't they exist???), 30 Rock actually IS true. If it were a snack food I would eat it until I weighed 800 pounds.
Those are my absolute must-sees. Other shows on this season that I might watch include:
Flash Forward (ABC, Thursdays, 8pm, premieres 9/24) because it's from the creators of Lost (which would have been on this list except that—sob!—it's not on again until 2010) and starts Joseph Fiennes. Rrrrrowwwr.
Bored to Death (HBO, Sundays, 9:30 pm, premiere 9/20) because it has my silver fox Ted Danson (see also: Garrison Keillor) and Zach Galifianakis and an ad for it I saw on a bus today looked funny.
Anything I missed? Have at in the comments!
*I've left off faves like Weeds and Mad Men that will be over by the time fall starts in earnest. Also, obviously, I love me some Project Runway and ANTM, but those have already started for the season...
AAAH why is the type so big all of a sudden? Maybe this is a sign. The TV this season is so good it's bigger than us, people. It's bigger than all of us.