Wednesday, August 19, 2009

You Won't Catch Me Masticating


When I ride the elevator every day, especially when there is someone in there with me, I like to stare blankly at the little news-y screen the tells me exciting facts like what the Dow is doing (not that I understand) and what celebrities have birthdays coming up. But today I actually learned something fascinating, if completely random: in 1974, Gerber apparently released a product called Gerber Singles, made for on-the-go adults! At least, they said it was for on-the-go adults. Really it was for adults so depressed and lonely that they couldn't even pick up a take-out menu and instead chose to eat creamed beef out of a tiny glass jar!

This got me thinking. Every time I pass the baby food aisle I think, I would totally eat that. A lifelong vegetable shunner (yes, I actually have that listed on my resume), I thrill at the idea that I could get my vitamins from a tiny portion of what looks like green pudding. I also think the fact that it is for babies makes it alluring because it is verboten (in the interest of full disclosure, I have a scar on my face from toddlerhood when my dog caught me eating from her bowl).

The fatal flaw in Gerber's plan, I think, was actually marketing it for adults. They might as well have called it "I Live Alone and I Don't Even Have the Energy to Chew, Let Alone Sign Up For eHarmony." Sad.

But...I would still eat it if anyone has some stashed from the ’70s. For, um, research. That's right.
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