At lunch today I discovered that something has gone terribly wrong at Newman's Own since Paul Newman's death. Gazing absentmindedly at the side of the carton, I read the following:
Here is what it says in case the photo isn't clear:
LEGEND: The marathon in Africa... I'm halfway out and barely chugging. Mountain coming! Liquid needed! What's around? Water's bitter! Beer's flat! Gator, blah blah!... Fading fast. Then a vision--sweet Joanna!--Tempting me with pale gold nectar... Lemon is it? Yes, by golly! Lemonade? No, Lemon aid!... Power added... Asphalt churning!... Cruising home to victory! Hail Joanna! Filched the nectar (shameless hustler)--in the market--Newman's Own.
Yes, for real that's what it says. Did J. Peterman chew some peyote, gag the copy editor, and send this to the printer?