So as I mentioned, Jeff and I spent the weekend doing a major cleaning on our apartment. Seriously, it was intense, like the kind of fast-motion shit you see on Clean House or Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I haven't done that kind of aerobic cleaning since I lived with a bunch of boys after college who invented a method of tidying the apartment called "the Stairway Clean," in which we would put on "Stairway to Heaven" and clean maniacally until it was over. It was quick, but in order to finish in time we would mostly throw things away, like dirty dishes.
Anyway, one of the things I love the most about cleaning (and I love A LOT about cleaning because I am Type A all the way) is the stuff you uncover while you're sorting through your mess.
Behold, some gems:
1. "This Is Not An Ordinary Day!", 2003
I made this collage while working a mind-numbing job as a receptionist. Most of the cut-out pieces are from my terrible "uplifting" desk calendar.
2. Pre-school Class Photo, 1983-4
Unbeknownst to many of his fans, John Travolta took a break from acting after Saturday Night Fever to teach pre-school at the Emanuel Midtown—I'm sorry, MDItown, according to the sign—Y (see upper left). I am top row, far right, wearing velveteen, standing between two more awesomely dressed, albeit less famous, teachers.
3. Un-PC birthday letter, 2005
This pretty much sums up our entire relationship. Gilberrrrrrrt!
4. Most awesome birthday card ever, 2007
5. Proof that at one time I was a maneater...
Who are all of the boys following? The little minx on the scooter with red sneaks and a badass 'tude, that's who.
6. Best photo ever
Me with my newborn sister, 1986.
7. Inexplicable long-distance communication
I sent this to Jeff when he was living in Cambridge, MA in 2004. Memory fails me as to what the words mean or why I am holding a can of soup.
8. Jeff's old headshot (awwww)
9. and 10. AMAZING Advent Calendar (had to be two parts b/c scanner isn't big enough).
I will never make anything better than that. I can quit now. (Enlarge to see pithy faux tabloid headlines, like "Frosty: Fatter than ever! Friends say his corncob pipe use out of control!")
Okay, must eat. That's all for now.