Friday, July 24, 2009

M. Night Shayamalan Is Totally Kicking Himself Right Now

I KNOW Jeff doesn't want that fake S&M picture of him to be the first thing people see here, so even though I am feeling lazy I will post something.

I love it when friends suggest stuff to post on the blog. It actually doesn't happen too often, but when it does it's like someone else is doing the work for me (although, to be fair, most of the "work" of blogging is the actual wording, typing and careful insertion of snark and/or extended parenthetical asides like this one, which seem to be my M.O.). Anyway, my friend Betsy forwarded me an item from Gawker about the movie Orphan—the one that proves once and for all that all latchkey kids are evil and should never be adopted. The link completely spoils the movie's surprise ending, but you don't have to click on it because I'm about to re-spoil it. You have been warned.

So. The titular "orphan" the way, I just realized that titular should have a completely different meaning. It should be a more refined way of saying "boobalicious." Right? Anyway, the orphan turns out to be a 33 year-old midget (YES REALLY) who was a former prostitute. I don't know how this relates to her being evil, but damn. Gawker suggests that the movie should be called Secret Dwarf Hooker, which made me think of other short, snappy spoilerific names for famous twisty-ending movies.

For instance, Psycho could be Master Bates Wearing Mom's Clothes (heh heh). Or Seven could be Head in a Box, and it could have a song like "Dick in a Box." Or is that in poor taste?

Anyway, the moral of this post is do not take in middle-aged midget hookers who pose as orphans. But if they're straight up about then I guess it's OK.


  1. I am one of the random strangers who read your blog. I often want to comment on your posts, but for some reason, today's the day. Secret Dwarf Hooker just made my Sunday so much brighter. Thank you.

  2. You are so welcome, Erin. And thanks for reading!


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