Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Back, Due to Writer's Block: Curmudgeon of the Week!

I am cranky, y'all. I had a crap night of terrible writing and I didn't exercise, choosing instead to watch the season finale of Gossip Girl. I'm having one of those 'what if my life doesn't amount to anything?' days? One of those 'maybe dreams don't come true' days. One of those 'every time a bell rings, and angel fucking dies, Zuzu' days. I told Jeff I didn't have anything to blog about and he said, "Well, I've never been asked to be Curmudgeon of the Week..."

He also just reminded me that I haven't blogged about dropping my relatively new T-Mobile G1 phone into a glass of water. Well I did, and I'm an idiot. And yes, I know, How does one drop a phone into a glass of water? The answer is, when one is holding one's phone directly above said glass of water because one is trying to carry sushi into the living room to watch the reunion episode of The Real Houswives of New York. Fuck my life.

And now on to our regularly scheduled programming.

Curmudgeon OTW: Jeff.


When did you first self-identify as a curmudgeon?
When was this photo taken?

Would other people call you one, or are you a secret curmudgeon?
I think I went public a long time ago.

Top 10 list of things you hate:
1. Stupid people
2. Ignorant people
3. Ignorant and/or stupid people who think otherwise about themselves
4. Lines at the post office
5. Lines in general
6. The people in those lines
7. Most people
8. Rainy days
9. Most days
10. You

You are on trial for murder. Who did you kill, and why?
I'm fairly indiscriminate in the people I hate. I'd like to think that I'm an equal-opportunity hater, and that the particular person was more of a symbol, a sort of human metaphor. Either that, or it was you. I hate you.

If you could blight one thing from the earth forever, what would it be?
Money. Why can't everything just belong to me?

Curmudgeon (living or dead, historical or contemporary) you most identify with and why:
Ambrose Bierce. [ed: Uh, who is that?] Look him up. He wrote The Devil's Dictionary, a lexicon of everything that you should hate. [ed: Example: "Achievement, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust"]

Favorite curse word/phrase?
There are so many. A good 'fuck' is seldom inappropriate, and oftentimes it is le mot juste.


  1. LOL! The Real Housewives are like CRACK! I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help myself! Oh, the shame. Also, I once, somehow, drop kicked my phone into my cat's water bowl. WTF?

  2. Anonymous12:49 PM

    Ahhh, yes. Ambrose Bierce. The author of Oil of Dog.
    I'm impressed!


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