Thursday Roundup

It sucks not being able to blog more regularly. Like today when I read about the casual embrace between Michelle Obama and Queen Elizabeth that the media desperately tried to turn into a story and I wanted—nay, needed—to share my tiny voice on the vast Internet with the reminder that George H.W. Bush THREW UP on the Japanese Prime Minister and his idiot son George W., apart from not being able to string a sentence together for eight full years, groped the German Chancellor, causing her to jump away, horrified.

A casual arm around the Queen’s shoulder after she has put her arm around your waist is NOT THE SAME THING. Sweet jeebus, people.

Or the fact that CNN has had up ALL DAY “breaking news” about how someone called Mr. Poopy Pants is terrorizing airline passenegers, but when you click on the link it’s just about how flying sucks (duhvsies) and how this one time? On a website? Someone called an elderly passenger who soiled himself “Mr. Poopy Pants.” There’s also a link titled “Top Republican Rips Reporter’s Hair,” which sounds awesome until you click and realize that he’s ripping it as in criticizing it, not ripping it out of her scalp with his bare hands (the Republican in question is John Boehner, by the way—how they let a boner joke get away is beyond me. I mean, they’re not above using poop to drum up traffic. Obviously).

Also, today I found a gray hair AND found myself thinking that this season’s Naturalizer shoes looked really comfortable and oh God please pass me a tequila shot and some 4-inch heels because I am OLD.

Thursday Roundup