Today, friends, is a glorious day. In one (two-plus hour) sitting, I completed the New York Times Sunday Magazine crossword puzzle all by myself—with no cheating—for the first time in my life.
I have finished the Sunday puzzle before, but usually over a span of many days, with help from Jeff (see Fun With Crosswords Parts One, II, Trois, and 4) or with the aid of "research" on the Internet. I started doing the weekend magazine crossword when I was an adolescent, begging my parents to let me fill in the easy clues before they touched it. After awhile I would manage a dozen or so clues on my own before I gave up (largely celebrity names, big surprise), but over the years I've slowly but steadily improved. And today—picture a single, silent tear rolling down by beaming cheek—today I fucking owned Will Shortz. Take that, sucka!
Photographic Proof (I am holding it far away on purpose so that you cannot ruin my victory with unhelpful comments that 'este' is not a word and so forth):
Yes, it is almost 4:30 and I am still in my bathrobe, but pay no attention to that. The important thing to remember here is that I RULE.