Stop Trying to Make Jumpsuits Happen! They Are Not Going to Happen!

If I see one more magazine touting jumpsuits as a “must-have” for summer, I am seriously going to shit in my rompers. LOL, just kidding I don’t wear rompers because rompers are for toddlers and—in select cases—ironic underwear, and jumpsuits are just rompers with more fabric.

Lucky! Glamour! Style.com! Do we really have to go over this again?

Full disclosure: I had a jumpsuit once. It was purple corduroy with short sleeves and a zipper up the front. I remember I wore it at our house in Texas ... in 1986. I rocked that shit outright, but I didn’t try to dress it up like formal wear (ahem ... attention Cameron Diaz. I didn’t know Forever 21 made gas station attendant uniforms) and ... oh, what else? Oh, yes, I WAS 6. Seriously, jumpsuits make me so angry. They are a scourge on humanity, right up there with peep-toe booties.


I know I've made this point before, but there is something seriously wrong with your outfit if you must get completely naked in order to go to the bathroom.

Now stop it, fashion. STOP IT RIGHT THIS MINUTE. I'd prefer skorts at this point, I really would.

Stop Trying to Make Jumpsuits Happen! They Are Not Going to Happen!