Thursday, March 19, 2009

Lifestyles of the Rich and Recession-Proof

One of the bright sides to the recession, for me, is the occasional news story that pops up about a very rich person spending exhorbitant amounts of money. These stories are always a sort of public flogging, attempting to make the rich person seem callous and out of touch, but they just make me jealous, setting in motion an elaborate fantasy in which I imagine how I would spend my money if I were to become digustingly wealthy.

I think I would make a very good rich person. I don't like to work and I like to buy things (you'd think that this would be a given for everyone, but amazingly it is not). Most importantly, I have already developed a sparkling personality and would not be in danger of being ruined by money. Someone bequeath me their fortune!

Anyway, today NY Mag's Daily Intel is all over this woman, Marie Douglas-David, who is going through a divorce and who is claiming that she needs at least $53,826 a week to live on. As this sum is more than I make in a year, I was intrigued as to how I might—if the bequeathing thing works out—blow my entire salary in seven days.

A lot of Ms. Douglas-David's expenses are property maintenance-related, and there's a lot of beauty, clothing, personal training, and fine dining costs which are to be expected of someone who married a sexagenarian for a $43 million-dollar payout (which, by the way, she's arguing is not enough). The thing that stuck out the most to me was her phone bill (see below, and BTW this is just part A of a very long document). This woman pays $481 a week for a cell phone.

Seriously, that's $1,924 a month. What kind of plan does she have? An iPhone is, what, maybe a few hundred, tops? Does she get a gold-plated, diamond-studded model every week and then throw it away? Does she call 800 numbers and then just leave the thing open all day? Does ET actually live in her closet and does he phone home? Seriously, I can spend money like nobody's business, but this is ridiculous.


  1. I had no idea that personal assistants could make 2 grand a week--that's a six-figure annual salary! I'm thinking it's time to throw in the towel on this dissertation thing and become a personal assistant. Want to hire me after you inherit your millions?


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